it's 4 am now and i haven sleep...why?

because i cannot get to sleep...its like a habit...been like that for a very long time already...

friday night...went to meet ashley and people for dinner...they went to drink after that...i sat beside and watched them...its always like that haha...i dunno whether issit good or bad to be allergic to alcohol...but still i think i should not touch it...as it nearly took away my life on my first try...was so afraid at that time...40 degree high fever, blocked air pipe and more...the next thing i know was that i am on the white van with red lights attached on top flashing...you know, the one where it can still drive pass even when the traffic light goes red...yeah it's an ambulance...at that time i was so uncomfortable and the male nurse just injected me with dunno what...felt drowsy and went to sleep...when i woke up was in hospital already...they checked, checked and checked and in the end they came out with a conclusion that i am allergic to alcohol...after that prescribed some medicine and i went home and the fever lasted for 2 weeks...it was hell...

after that i never touched alcohol...it have been years since then....ashley popped a question asking whether am i happy that i am allergic to alcohol...and i dunno how to answer...people can drink alcohol when they are sad...so that they can forget about things...but for me i can't...but still i think i am lucky that i am allergic...coz i wun be in the drunk state...haha...

yeap so basically we stayed up at town till around 3+ then we took cab home...

and also when i reached home...i sat on my sofa...an asked myself...what is love...? everyone seems to be in a relationship before...but i had never been in a relationship before...i liked her since young...and now she just got into a relationship...i felt real hurt....so is this love...? or its just a form of worry...? i really dunno...i only like people before...but never been loved by someone before...just how exactly issit like...?

...

CiQing
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