I am the music , The music is me

ASIASOFTEEEE

2008-08-05T07:34:00.001-07:00

LOL went to work from august 1st to 3rd lol was damn freaking fun and i am already missing the people met at the part time job haizzz...emo lol...but still luckily got some of their contacts haha for eg xie yao henry and co lol BUT there is still a BIG BUNCH that nv get contact from one...LOLwas really fun mending the GrandChase booth... LOL...coz i gotta play a mini game called scissors paper stone...LOL anyways i haven say zhong dian the event was the asiasoft GAMEFEST LOL ok i will grab pictures from xie yao's blog and post it here i guess lol

TAKE CARE =D

wordless...

2008-07-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

this morning something shocking happened...a shocking news...my uncle in malaysia passed away...he was the youngest brother of my mum...when me and my brother were still young...he stayed with us for some time...instead i think its a long time...we got angry with him we laughed at him we pissed him off...but still he cared for us...he went back to malaysia for a long time...when we are older now...we do not have much time spent with him...the last time we saw him was one or two months ago...he actually came from malaysia to see us...at first i thought he is in need of money but no...he is here to see us...to see us for the last time...and the last time i saw him...i never talked to him but i greeted him...that was the last moment between me and him...

i was stunned when i woke up this morning when dad woke us up...was speechless...the first thing i heard was mum chanting and crying...i sat on bed for a while to settle down...and went to the living room speechless...mum and dad decided to go back to malaysia...for 3 days...i wanted to go back...but i gotta work on thursday...i was totally in a dilemma...i told mum and dad to go ahead first and i will join them the next day...and when i called them again...they told me not to go...i was speechless...gwen asked me what happened...and i told her...at that moment that's just what i need...someone to talk to...for the rest of the day...i was looking back...and i found out that i said something very bad to him...very bad...i am feeling very guilty now...very guilty...deep down i miss him...today the tears seems to be endless...flowing...never ending...even now...they are flowing down by themselves...

i've learned...to cherish even more...every moment with anyone should be a happy one...

now what i need most is to go somewhere to let myself settle down...a place where i can laugh hardly...a place when i can have fun and cheer up...i wanted to met some friends for dinner coz i just need accompany...but got no replies...guess they are busy with stuff...really apologize if i bothered you all...i guess we have to rely on ourselves after all...

take care guys...i will cherish all of you...

how true...

2008-07-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

sometimes i believe horoscop sometimes i don't but now i must say i believe...

went to read susy's blog and saw this...

"Libra being undecisive and hate to be stuck between people in order to make choices... and to add on they think alot..."

How true man haizzz....

anyways just finished the ten days straight job haha...it was real fun working with the poly dudes yewei, sbl, teddy, maveric and klenn who is mave's fren...its like doing a group project once again...haizzz miss those times...blowing balloons everyday was fun and when we let go the balloons at the end of ceremony was more delightful...haha felt a sense of accomplishment...haha...

met new friends though...kenni...calvin...benny...jag and the others... it was great working with them no stress just laughters haha and fun...ok whats the most impt thing is the PAY LOL 600! gotta get that real soon...

saturday have to go for gwen's 21st party...can't wait for that haha...and erm tml i guess meeting kenni and calvin for random stuff then meet maveric to buy present for gwen haha...

erm i am lost with words now lol anyways susy is coming back soon! haha lets all kneel down and await the queen's arrival! LOL (PS. however i will be the one running far far away and only leave jane and liting and the others kneeling down LOL!) HAHA NO LA JKJK

MUST MEET UP FOR K GALS!!! MY THROAT IS ITCHING!!!

hahaha

2008-06-21T13:02:00.000-07:00

so many things had happened...yeap...erm these days i have been trying very very hard and my very best to look for a job...just got rejected once...BUT REJECTION IS PART OF THE PROCESS!!! i not afraid...yeah i will find one before ns...

yeap erm actually one week ago i did tear abit...but its not sad nor happy just that...there were 2 NS guys who passed away...condolences to their parents and friends...one of them was friend's friend...and yeah hope you all try and get over it asap...yeah so this is the background...so when i knew that was a group of friend's friend...it struck me...i went to their blogs and yeap read through...then yeah just as i were...but i guess mine was more impactful as i was still young...

i know i am saying it again but yeah...after ah li kor passed away (i was still like 6 or 7...din know much...) my aunt who is his mother actually came to my house to shan shan xing...then one day she brought me out to buy something at night...then while i was walking beside her...i suddenly heard her crying...she continued walking and then i was silent i nv say or ask anything...suddenly she said..." ah li kor went to a very faraway place..." coz that time i still dun understand death...but i definitely know someone who loves me alot has left me...a cousin who actually touched my life more than anyone do...that is why i always feel comfortable when people are caring and loving towards me...and so i will do vice versa...

anyways i guess i should stop for now...yeah just can;t stop thinking of him...

bought a new webcam and was spamming around... haha but scared some ppl but i hope you all understand that i am a very hyper person and dun get misunderstood i know its scary but dun worry...lol i just wanna test test haha...=D

yup

anyways take care guys...i really can't afford to lose anyone...thats why i always try to love and care everyone around me...OF COURSE IF YOU STEP ON MY TAIL!!! YOU JUST HAVE TA WATCH OUT LOL haha no la jkjk....

nights =D

GRADUATION!

2008-05-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

sorry to those who are offended from my last post...but i was not saying about you guys coz ppl i know of course i wun think that they are that bad just that those that i met during work that day...ps la susy =D

anyways its a happy week last friday coz WE GRADUATED! yeap though jane was before me but we were on the same day!!! =D yay haha

and yeap must really say no matter what we had gone through the wind and rain (feng feng yu yu)
FIRST i want to thank my family for supporting all the way for my studies and everything though i know i am the MOST BAD TEMPERED person in the whole family...and sometimes i really hurt you all alot...i know in my heart that i am realyl guilty and i really wanna say sorry...but in those moments i just can;t say it out... so what i wanna say here is...i am sorry mum and dad and bro...thanks for bearing with me these past few years and thanks dad and mum for bringing me up... i know its not easy...i know when i was in secondary school and getting bullied by people when they say i am ugly and short and stuff...and i will come home and tell you guys what they said to me and i will ask why i am born like that...i know it hurts both of you for saying that to you...and i really want to say sorry...coz in the end its not what you want too...yeah and after i stepped into poly i learned taht i should live as who i am and whatever appearance i am having...and live with confindence... I LOVE YOU GUYS =D

SECOND i want to thanks Jane, Susy and Liting who had also encouraged me when i am down and sit down and chat sometimes...really thanks alot =D love ya guys too! y'know these years...though susy comes back occasionally i am happy enough already coz at least we cherished and have the time to get together to sit down and talk about the past and everything happening around us...and sometimes when we chat we just chat endlessly and doesn;t seem to run out of topic...and yeap i just hope that susy will be able to come back to stay long term after her studies...coz is like always when she comes back after some time she has to leave and yeap everytime seems like we know that we have to wait again...though we might say "aiya she coming back again..." haha but in our hearts we hope that she faster come back so we can gather again...yeap so hope you and your sis get great grades and FASTER COME BACK!!! Though sometimes i might have mood swings and stuff...i really wanna say sorry to you guys...really sorry...=D yeap really love ya guys alot and also not forgetting the IT guy Ci qing and bassist Yong rui...

Third of course the MOIMD DUDES and friends from other courses IAD PID VSC ADM...honestly speaking...these three years had been a really fruitful one...i have grown alot alot because of you guys...and also learnt alot...really missed those times at studios and stuff...and also ORIENTATION i think those are the times wear we really had fun together...i still remember refresh i was in indigo and ignite was in the entertainment group! haha hope you guys still have that orange refresh shirt and for ignite that black one and for entertainment! the BIG "E" shirt haha which is pink in colour! haha to be honest i really learned alot. be it in work or in friendship...i know that there are alot of feuds in our course...but yeah i just hope that we can let things past y'know...honestly speaking i am good with everyone...i smile to everyone in the course and also i talk to everyone in the course...i know that maybe party A hates Party B but i still befriend both parties...because thats who i am i really dun want to make enemies coz...its better having one more friend than making one more enemy...so you either like me as a friend for who i am or hate me haha...but even if you hate me...i will still smile and chat with you...and i chat with you honestly...not with a fake smile or what...yeah i am that open to everyone that i know in the course...i dun care if you hate me or what...you are still my friend...

Finally to the lecturers...you guys really taught us loads i must say...really thanks alot to you guys...and really i respect you guys...

yeah time really flies...and another chapter starts...before that...we were still talking about what we will do after graduation and now...we all graduated... all i can say is i love you guys....i always wanted to say that...

I remembered after i sang that day...i did say take care guys...just that its too soft and i wanted to continue saying i love you guys but had no chance coz there is not enough time left....i really deep down from my heart thanks everyone who had entered and left...my life...every single one of you left me with new strength...and i really appreciate it...thanks alot =D

i love all of you...

and hope to see you guys again...

take care...

...

2008-05-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

ALRIGHT GUYS I AM BACK!

the ns letter haven come yet...i very pissed...

and then next is yesterday go work the cashier really lai ang aka come red...seriously...i cannot do anything i just one day worker lol...so i just bear with it for the whole day until this japanese customer came and asked her..."erm this one whore(four) dollars?" and then she keep on repeat the whore for a few times before she stop because the red colour one standing beside me kept on ignore her and i nearly burst out of laughter when the customer was repeating it...LOL OWNED~!

I LIKE

anyways...graduation ceremony is coming...emo...

erm other than was helping my bro to design his namecard...quite easy though coz he doesn't expect much...

this japanese breakdancer dude whose my bro's fren came to live in our home for 3 months...i think he on holiday...but seriously he looks totally like a yakuza...fierce dude...but when he speaks................mild dude...yeah lol...

today went for rehearsel...pitch went out abit...JUST ABIT I SWEAR I WILL SING WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL ON THE ACTUAL DAY...PROMISE K...mind you i expect alot alot from myself when it comes to singing...and i really wanna do it to my best! =D

next up i am gonna do up my showreel and look for a job b4 ns coz the person said i at least will september then go in...........pissed.....

alrights nvm and yes singaporean(alright though i am an singaporean BUT at least i am not like them) shoppers are a real pain in the ass DAMN IT...first thing they bring the items to your counter...alright...nvm...i am happy with it so i helped them packed...but why the hell they always frown and stare at ppl...seriously...i really regret not giving them attitude...yes i agree all of them really high class and rich so what...FOR FUCK RICH+NO MANNERS=SHIT USELESS HUMAN BEING ON EARTH...i mean seriously come on la we are working and we SMILED AND SAY THANK YOU AND MAY I HELP YOU...SO PLS JUST GIVE US A SMILE WOULD PLEASE US...always talk about bad service...if you treat the service provider well do you think they will kuai lan you? no right so precisely both parties must be happy....oh yeah sometimes some of them more ridiculous...they are the ones that freaking cause global warming...they want EACH ITEM IN ONE PAPER/PLASTIC BAG...TOTAL SICKENING...IF I AM PA LEVEL 25 I WOULD HAVE CRIT YOU TO DEATH (for dota players)...yeah man...i always thought that rich people are all kind and have very good manners...unfortunately no! they are all super ugly looking monsters with freaking thick make ups walking around...they just wear a mask when they talk about things like "oh no la haha (smiles from cheek to cheek) i just donate all of my money coz i think they really need help" please stop wearing your mask....

but there are also good rich people though come to think of it...

and final thing that i am pissed off about is......my nametag

yes... this is self explanatory if you are a singaporean who are well versed in using irc or msn or short form vulgarities...anyway...as i was saying only singaporean will understand this...the japanese and korean shoppers also did frown though...so i guess its not my name's fault most of the shoppers and frowners are female...so i guess maybe they all come red...erm no lets look for a better word...CODE RED SOUNDS NICER! =D

anyways this is a long post with finally ONE PICTURE so have fun reading and yeah take care ciaoz! =D

left out...

2008-04-27T23:55:00.001-07:00

have been trying hard to spice up the corporate vid script...but its hard...i guess just leave it corporate will do...

I feel left out...

whatever...

who cares...

no matter where i go you all are there

2008-04-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

Left is Jane, Middle Liting, right Susy
jane is because only she will have this kind of hair
liting is coz she is wearing jeans...it was supposed to be susy one
susy can have any kind of possibilities so yeah haha

alright look at this photo...anyway i am back in singapore already...

really when i was chatting with my cousin in malaysia i was talking about the batam massage incident ...

when suddenly my cousin pointed to my pillow...

no wonder i had weird dreams...LOL

and one thing this is totally coincident...its my aunt who got me this pillow...

you girls are always watching me OMG!

nowadays my temper really fired up dunno why also...

headache after the bowlin game that day thats why my fire raged up more...

not you guys...its just me angry with myself...

argh...ok gues i should cool myself down...

nights guys...take care...

malaysia...

2008-04-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

i am now in malaysia...

taking a breather...

ate alot alot alot alot...of cheap and amazingly nice foods....

SUPER EPIC MAN...the rojak mee 1.70 rm so basically its 80-90 cents in singapore...big packet and epic taste...and lots and lots like the stingray... rm 8...and its one WHOLE FISH...its not like singapore the one slice from nowhere shit....epic...satay...one for rm 0.50 ok not bad nice haha...char kway!!!! i tell you this is epic-nessssssssssssssss...the char kway is totally weird one...if its in dota it will be level 25 with the ultimatte called...EPIC SAUCE!!! the sauce is epic...some chilli sauce....E P I C!

ok still got erm....bought 4 bubble gum can;t seem to find the bear gums that jane wants...but found the normal one that liting wants lol.... yeah gonna buy more....

oh yeah took lotsa pics in malaysia...should put up soon... =D take care!

thats all i can say...

2008-03-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

am still having a headache that i really can't go to sleep...

yesterday after taking a short nap...my headache worsen and i can't take panadol as i am allergic to it...

was in a super bad mood...

thats why i replied jane in that manner...

what can i say now...?

nothing...

said sorry...

anyways i am heading to malaysia...

so yeap going there to think over some stuff...

i am getting really hot headed these days...

not sure why...

take care gals...

will buy the bubble jong...

really sorry

2008-03-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

i don;t know whats wrong with me...other than waiting for the cardio checkup that NS sent me...went to April's shoot...must really say sorry...its long since i had this kind of occurence...the last time i fainted was year 1 sem 2 during poly...after that i was alright other than sometimes i will have situation where its hard for me to breath...don;t know whats wrong and i don't wanna worry my parents...i am starting to get afraid...afraid that i might close my eyes one day...i go to sleep with fear...it's not asthma then what it is? i am not asthmatic...hypertension was what i heard when i was young at the clinic...parents said it was alright...it will be healed...coz its just slight...

hopefully i am alright...nothing is gonna happen...hey you are a ninja right...pull yourself together...you are the one who is always encouraging people and now you are the one going down...what a joke...but i am just afraid...

all i can do now is wait for the cardio checkup...its just fate for every human to die...i am not afraid of death since then...i don't care anymore...all i want to do now is cherish life and cherish everyone around me...i know this sounds ironic

i wanna be healthy...please...

i dunno who am i begging to...but please...

i still want to live...so please...

take care guys...health is everything...

many years

2008-03-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

yeah now comes to the end of another chapter...and start of a new chapter...dip show was fun...and yeah i will definitely miss school and the people around too...

so many years had passed...and sometimes i really cant bear it in my heart for too long...like yeah...to clear things off...

many people often say that i am gay...for this...i must really clarify...that...
I AM NOT GAY!!! FUCK THE WORLD HOLY FUCK... alright look...yes i have long hair...but i am NOT GAY...

and stop calling me to trim my hair...if you are my friend respect my choice of what i want to do...THANK YOU!

=D still i must end off with a smile...

YES!

2008-02-28T08:22:00.000-08:00

YES!!! OH MY YES!!!!

EVERYTHING IS OVER!!! PLEASE DUN MIND ME TYPING IN CAPS!!! COZ I AM REALLY HAPPY

B U T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! here comes the emo part...ok look after i get my diploma...i will get out of school and then i will miss my friends...ok nvm the next thing coming up will be NS!!! HOLY!!!! ok nvm i am prepared for it anyways lol...

haizzz honestly speaking after FYP really damn lost....dunno what to do other than prepare for dip show...dip show is anal man...really dunno waht to do...seriously i think i dun really wanna care much! ?LOL haha no la just joking will try my best to put up some nice stuff LOL...erm oh yah something rather amazing...first they told us that there will be SHELVES taht can hold our laptops... BUT NO!!!! the shelves are SUPER flimsy and it seems like if you just rest your elbow on it...it will drop...so plain and simple...i will just put my motion graphics into my PSP and just put there with speakers...LOL...yeah quite funny though lol but i think thats the only thing that can be held and play stuff lol...

last weekend was with jambo and liting...for outings...super fun...oh i miss the K days...now fyp over already can sing more more mroe morermoermeo... ARSEgtWETGJKsro;gj ok...nvm...i am too high now...

alrights so wassup next? basically is to prepare for dip show and after that i really dunno waht to do lol....................................ok fine i am just being lame lol...ok cya guys

TAKE CARE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=D

FROM YOUR DEAREST RABBIT NINJA!=D

breaking down

2008-02-03T05:41:00.000-08:00

these days i reminisce and i thought of my deceased cousin...he is the only one who cared for me the most when i was young...i loved him...i know it sounds gay but i mean i love him because he is the most caring and most understanding person and i dun care how people would want to look at it...he protects me from everything...and after he left...i had been looking for a replacement...i felt so insecure...without the warmth of him...even till now...no warmth can replace his...other than just staring into space thinking of him sometimes...i don't know what i can do sometimes...i really really love him alot...i miss him alot alot...i love you...i love you really alot...but i know that you cannto come back...

i just quarrelled with my parents...i understand their hardships...but why can't they just tell me...i love you all alot too...so just share the hardship...can...i am begging you all...

i am stressing myself up...i am really i am...and with fyp going on i am going to pursue on...believe me mum and dad i will do my best to show the fucking uncles what we are made of...they looked down on us...i will show them...what i can do...not violence...but achieving my ambition and showing it to them is enough to make them feel ashamed...i will shut their mouth from saying things that insult you all...

I Will...believe me...

and i love you all mum dad aunt bro...

and also su jian li...i love you...your warmth i will never forget...

thanks for everything...you all made me a stronger person...much more stronger than anyone...i do cry...but not infront of people...i smile to make the day of people...that was what you taught me...

stressed

2008-01-10T05:46:00.000-08:00

celebrated new year with jambo they all haha was damn fun...i am still waiting for the pics ci qing lol...

yeap anyway these days is totally rushing for shoot...totally out of breath argh...
recently the left side of my chest is having abit of sharp pain now and then...but still can take it though...dunno whats wrong haha...should be nuthing maybe worked too much already lol...haizzz...so sian manss....10 more days to interim 2. in fact we have 7 more days to make it 90% done...argh sian....

ok gtg chiong work already cya guys soon take care =D

resolution?

2007-12-30T08:43:00.000-08:00

erm honestly speaking i haven't really thought about my new year resolution...it is because all i can think of in the next year is NS and other than that it's still NS...ok nvm forget about it...

OH YAH YES I KNOW ALREADY!!! hope that i can do well for my FYP and yeap after that before going to NS I MUST make myself physically fit at least fit enough to dun need to go in one month earlier which means RETAKE NAPFA!!! shit man i really gott do my best during retake... argh...

ok other than that i am going to pursue into singing more...and also hope i can make it big...haha i know its rather a wild dream but still i wanna do my best in this path because no matter what...the entertainment industry is what i want to be in...i know there will not be any freedom after that...but yeah...haha just wanna be in it...haha see how la haha...

erm yeap other than that i still haven thought of one main resolution...haha maybe on the next update...lol...tml gotta go buy stuff for new year's eve steamboat lol and susu's house...yeap...haha erm i am starting to feel abit weird lately...dunno why...yeap lately i have been in good condition...erm ok i anyhow babbling things again...ok take care guys =D

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2007-12-23T21:56:00.002-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS DUDES!!!

YEAP just got back from BATAM and bought LOTS and LOADS of EPIC SNACKS LOL AND I MEAN IT EPIC!!! LOL the kueh lapis is nice the mee soto there is nice the doughnuts there is much much more nicer than singapore's and also the snacks there is epic...

the three days was very fun...though me and susy is rather tired at times lol coz we are those shop until halfway tired one lol...and also jane and liting is super hyper shoppers...haha but still with the three of them...i feel very happy...i dunno what sord should i use to describe...its more fun being with them i must say lol all out craziness and laughing lol...and we start to pronounce words wrongly lol because susu got this weird pronounciation habit lol...LOL LOL...yeah all in all it was fun!!! hahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAWHAWHWAHAWHAWHAWTFASEGHAEGASEHASEHSE LALALALAL LOL....ok yeap and i think only with them i can laugh all out...and go crazy all out...yeap...love them loads!!! JAMBO SUSU AND FLAUTIST TING!!! LOL

ARGH IT WAS FUN THANKS LOADS GUYS(GALS) lol yeah should be gals...

and of course the most unforgettable part of the trip was the massage parlour part...-_-...the whole massag parlour actually thought that i was a girl...-_-...until susu finally told them...WAH LAU LOL!!!

ok anyways MERRY CHRISTMAS DUDES TAKE CARE YAH!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2007-12-23T21:56:00.001-08:00

grasping breath...

2007-12-19T04:26:00.000-08:00

i am grasping my breath these days...breathing seems to be difficult for me...its getting back like what it used to be like in secondary school...the frequent faints and frequent short of breath...i am really afraid...i am weak...yet still i have to hold on my strong self infront of people...its rather hard...

these days...i felt lost...i don't know exactly why...that's why i decided to go batam with sistaz to put things down and just stay happy and relax...i wonder whats wrong with people...maybe its just me...i always though everyone can stay happy as friends together...instead of splitting up into cliques...i am always stucked in the middle of friends and i am struggling...when i have to leave this group and go to chat with another group i have to lie to them...not that i want to lie on purpose...but i know if i tell them i am going to the other group...they would start ignoring me...maybe i am thinking too much i don't know...i am being over friendly i guess...people start to doubt me...but i don't say bad things about them to other groups...because of this they start to doubt that whether am i really one of their friends...personally i think its hard...sometimes i just feel like giving up those friends who can't understand me...i always find it hard to reject things...i am a bad friend i guess...but no matter what...i will still put on that smile...as long as they are my friends...friends are friends...i cannot find another maveric...i cannot find another wei jie...i cannot find another jane...i cannot find another susy...i cannot find another liting...i cannot find another person...there is no replace thats why i tried my very best to please all the friends i can...but in the end i am making myself feel bad...i am really lost...i hope to find back myself...my ownself...my own identity...i hope for a change in myself...i am finding back the real Chang Boon...not the one in the past...not the one presently...but the one that is going to face the future...during these 3 days in batam...

Fyp has been going well...starting my shoot next week...i am going to put my best effort into this...and also after fyp i will concentrate on making graduation video for our batch's people...they have been great schoolmates i would say...i still remember when once i was stressed and teared outside audio room...vanessa came to console me and some who don't really know me well...when they walk past me they would also put a tissue on the table or sumthing...they are really great people...and also my coursemates...we are left with around two to three more months together...and i really hope we will all graduate together...love ya guys lots...and merry christmas and a happy new year...

we entered each other's life and memory before...so let's cherish this memory...
take care guys...

I've Decided...

2007-12-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

These days...my life have been going up and down...FYP is making my life up and down...sometimes i feel so confident about it sometimes i feel that i cannot make it...but...i decided to do my best for it...and also do my fyp happily...

These days when i look at things...i lose details...on the street when i walk pass a friend i don't even notice them...until they come and say hi...it has happened a few times to Jane haha...not i act dao har...just that i dunno why my line of sight seems to be narrower haha...

had been feeling very giddy these days...trying very hard to concentrate on things...sometimes i wonder what is life all about...i had always think that my life is screwed up...because of my past maybe...but then i dunno... there might be someone who is worse...i feel abit sad...i don't know why...why do some of my friends have such a good life and past...and me...i am living with recurring nightmares...i don't know...maybe i am too optimistic that sometimes i become pessimistic...but no matter what i think i am an optimist...an extreme one...no matter how people insult me and how people despise me in the past...i will still put on a smile...I won't retaliate...because after all...we control our own feelings...and i chose to be happy...even after being bullied...to put on a strong self i would say...

Recently...a few of my friends broke up with their gf or bf...consoled some of them...and hopefully they feel better...I don't know...because i haven been in a relationship before...so i dunno whether did i help or not...but still as long as they don't say they feel like dying i am happy already...i hate it when they say that...

argh haha this is quite a long post though...all i wanna do is make people laugh and thats all...haha...but still...i can;t make myself laugh much...seems forced sometimes...haha anyway cya guys soon...take care....=D

FYP

2007-11-20T08:56:00.000-08:00

TOTAL OWNAGE@!!!! thats what i can say for now... fyp is killing us slowly one by one...all are stressed out man...

alright i finally got my PSP love it lots! and one thing i really wish that i pass my FYP WITH FLYING COLOURS...note: "WITH FLYING COLOURS!!!" okok so yeah...oh anyways my story has a girl named siew ling...LOL...and the character is actually attempting suicide...i don't know she just reminds me of susy...OK ANYWAYS>>> yeaps i am like stoning now and i am thinking how am i suppposed to pass napfa with a silver...................................<----look at all these dots...this is how sian i am when i think of pull ups.<---HOLY I AM ACTUALLY USING A NORMAL FULLSTOP!!!

ok yeah anyway( have you all noticed? the anyways are coming back again...(and dots again)) ok anyway (LOOK <<<< ANYWAY AGAIN!!!) ok look i should stop anywaying ok anyway........ok nvm

yeah so i am damn worrie about napfa coz i dun wanna go into ns two more months earlier...ARRGGGHHH!!!!

and i wanna pass my fyp with all my best...now the next thing i gonna do is to touch up script...do storyboard(photoboard) and then mood board and then character's personality...and then some research and then erm some motion graphics and i am all set to go....and yeah all this while i really dunno how to thank this person...she has always been there helping us to compose music and recording minus 1 for us...this person is ...ashley...seriously she helped us alot alto alot...ARGGHH POM ok...but yeah just that i dunno how should i express my thanks...

ok now back to work...i just simply gotta pump up my energy and do my best...NO MORE HAPHAZARD WORK...i know i might be plain lazy sometimes...but this time...its for real...doing my best...

start of fyp...

2007-10-30T07:18:00.001-07:00

erm...haha so far so good...sip has ended...and i just miss the people in the company...and now...its the start of fyp haha...

i dunno whether to be sad or happy...people in the course start to spread around and is like i feel so lost after school these two days haha...yeaps...my fyp story is almost there...and i have confidence taht i will do it with my best....seriously speaking i am very happy to return to school...seeing all the people...like people from moi imd iad pid vsc adm...though will not say hi but still at least i know that they are well haha...a number of lecturers says that our batch is one of the best...and they mean the whole cohort...and i dare to say yes...i have seen all the other courses' work they are all really very good...totally impressed...

yeaps...i think i will really miss school alot after graduation...time really flies....here we are doing our fyps already haha...really wish everyone good luck...do your best guys...haha

yeaps ok thats all for now...take care guys...=D

Random...

2007-10-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

ok look this is random ok anyway thanks lots the birthday parties guys love it...=D thanks for everything...=D

but oh yeah i was rather pissed on October 8th( yes my bday) at around 1am+ coz someone came and pop a weird question...which i already forget for such a long time already is like 1 year have passed since then and this person just came up and asked me about it which made me really...i dunno how to describe just weird okay....yeah and its on my birthday first thing i recieved on my birthday was that...thanks huh...alright so now which means someone must have told you that....alright i wun trust those good friends around you anymore...who friggin leaks people's secret to ppl i dun even really know well...and suddenly came and pop me that question...what the hell la....ok i shall not continue scolding or else more vulgarities will fly out...yeah and please stop breaking into people's private life when i dun even know you well...i can be very friendly but please dun overdo it...if heard anything like that try to shut up and dun even ask coz its just sensitive alright...oh shit seems like i continued scolding again...i dunno whether you read my blog or not but still i am here to say that i am PISSED at that moment...ok STOP ok i should control myself...

ok anyway recently i heard this song from Namie Amruo called "Violet Sauce"...WOO

the lyrics are sooo...i dunno how to explaing...alright there is a part that goes like that...

"Show me your everything...i give you what you need...i know the way to please you, you, you..." WOO omg sooo cool isn't it!?!?!?!?

put it in the violet sauce!!! ok so random ok anyways

take care GUYS!!! and thanks for the BoA Made In Twenty!!! LOVE IT!!! =D

and also thanks for the watch and also thanks for the cake weijie !! LOL

tears...

2007-10-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

i am really having alot of problems now...i am stressed...i have my own money but i can't get a psp because my mum dun allow...but i really want one...but i was thinking...buying shirts to pamper myself or buying gadget to entertain me...

still i dunno...

just now me and my mum sat down a talked about things...from dad to brother to me and to her...this is probably the second time me and her sat down and talked till we cried...though i feel like crying...i still tried to hold back my tears...its like the whole family is stressed...and yeap...i don't know what to say...

just that i really love my family till i think that i am thinking too much...worried about them too much....i dunno i just feel like i am stressing myself and sometimes i just feel like shouting out...

i cannot take it anymore...many things are like coming towards me before...but still on the surface i still have to show people i am still strong willed...i still can take it which is not true...i just feel like crying with someone accompanying me...and talk to...

tears...i can only cry myself to sleep now i am stressed everyday...

sad...

2007-09-28T08:14:00.001-07:00

seems like these days i am starting to update more...but the last post and this post is because i am really emo then come type some things one haha...

these days same things have happened...go to work go home and sleep...everyday's daily routine...my life seems so empty...yeah...

yeap...and erm not much haha...just that i am starting to miss school...miss everyone...i just love all of them...no matter who...as long as they entered my life even for once...i still miss those faces...i dunno maybe i am someone who is grateful about meeting people...even if they are the ones who hate me...really grateful i meet all these friends from pri sch till poly...miss them lots...time really flies like mad...

yeap...

take care...

saw linda on mrt...she still treats me like a brother after all...

4.00

2007-09-22T12:59:00.001-07:00

it's 4 am now and i haven sleep...why?

because i cannot get to sleep...its like a habit...been like that for a very long time already...

friday night...went to meet ashley and people for dinner...they went to drink after that...i sat beside and watched them...its always like that haha...i dunno whether issit good or bad to be allergic to alcohol...but still i think i should not touch it...as it nearly took away my life on my first try...was so afraid at that time...40 degree high fever, blocked air pipe and more...the next thing i know was that i am on the white van with red lights attached on top flashing...you know, the one where it can still drive pass even when the traffic light goes red...yeah it's an ambulance...at that time i was so uncomfortable and the male nurse just injected me with dunno what...felt drowsy and went to sleep...when i woke up was in hospital already...they checked, checked and checked and in the end they came out with a conclusion that i am allergic to alcohol...after that prescribed some medicine and i went home and the fever lasted for 2 weeks...it was hell...

after that i never touched alcohol...it have been years since then....ashley popped a question asking whether am i happy that i am allergic to alcohol...and i dunno how to answer...people can drink alcohol when they are sad...so that they can forget about things...but for me i can't...but still i think i am lucky that i am allergic...coz i wun be in the drunk state...haha...

yeap so basically we stayed up at town till around 3+ then we took cab home...

and also when i reached home...i sat on my sofa...an asked myself...what is love...? everyone seems to be in a relationship before...but i had never been in a relationship before...i liked her since young...and now she just got into a relationship...i felt real hurt....so is this love...? or its just a form of worry...? i really dunno...i only like people before...but never been loved by someone before...just how exactly issit like...?

HI GUYS!!!

2007-09-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

HILOW PPL!!! HAHA HOW ARE YOU ALL...OOPS haha sorry lol so long nv update already...you all must have missed me =D haha...oops haha in the first place i think only the sistaz reads my blog lol yeah...

ok first i wanna say...i spent away my first pay...suck...but at least i spent it on worthy stuff like erm...a hard disk and a thumb drive...yet to name it...any names pls suggest lol...haha...OH YA I KNOW WHAT TO NAME IT ALREADY!!! RABBIT NINJA!!!! LOL ok set so yeap my thumby from today onwards will be called rabbit ninja lol...(sorry for the bad phrasing of the sentence) anyway my english sux lol...yeah i stagger when i spk english...LOL

erm yeap so far in megamedia yeap its quite fun did some animations and motion graphics...at least i get to do what i want...no matter what i still learnt things from ppl there... and they are really good people!!!

ANOTHER THING IS....RONALD CAME TO VISIT US OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG when we heard that he came we were like running towards him and wanna hug him lol...at that moment was like miss the lecturers and also SCHOOL ARGGGHHH....i was wishing sip to end yet i think i will miss megamedia alot...

anyways tml will be going to watch lyr's concert at botanics garden...hmmmm i dun think i went there before...maybe i went there before just that i forgotten...

OH ANYWAY today me and janice and liting went to some old school shop and OMG the sweets there are really so old school that it brings back so much memories...i felt like crying when i saw one of my...no or rather OUR favourite lollipops...lol so our plan was when we get our next pay we are gonna buy that whole "kong" (it means container) of lollipops yeap yeap...

oh i am feeling slpy anyway haha....hmmm oh shit i am starting to use hmm alot oh yah anyway Liting (the tp one) being a singer is still my first priority =P...

oh yah anyway i wanna say sorry to weijie coz i feel very guilty as in yeap offered him the freelance but then haizz things nv turn out well...yeap so yeah still feeling guilty...

oh anyway i am feeling tired already...bye cya guys haha take care!!!

haha

2007-08-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

HI GUYS!!!

according to my last post...i said i "tml" will update but then haha yeap i was too busy...so sorry guys lol...

erm yeap now i am having SIP and i am really very busy...LOL...erm so far yeap what happened during these weeks was...

National day celebrations in MEGAMEDIA

LYR's bday(starring LYR's GF)

erm going to hendri's house warming thing...

erm and yeap i think thats that haha...

OH YAH and MEETING UP WITH NOBEL and the other dudes lol...

yeah this month is enjoying month but yet soon it will be missing people again...

FIRST...susy is flying off....i really miss those times that we can meet easily...yeeah the secondary school times...we had loads of fun...i will really miss her...

but also not forgetting....sistaz...even when i am working i think of them alot...like for example how they are doing and what they are doing haha...yeap...

nobel went back to indonesia one month later he will fly back to america...

marisa came back but never meet her at all...haha

hendri gg back america soon also i guess...

yeah time really flies...and we are all 20 already...i guess its time we should think far into the future...and yes i thought of it already...and i must make it happen haha...no use thinking...we should put it into action...

yeap...

erm so far in internship...megamedia is a VERY VERY GOOD company with alot of VERY VERY GOOD people...they all are willing to teach...and also i learnt that in the industry...it's not like poly anymore...things get rejected right in the face...and work is marked with a DEAD line...yeap...and yeah was very happy working with the MM 10...MegaMedia 10 haha....i think megamedia is the only one with this many MOI interns lol...

yeap erm...whats more...yeah...i really wish everyone will be well down the road...especially those in foreign countries...i really hope that you all will atke care of yourselves...we will meet up real soon yeah...yeap

argghhh...i am missing TP...hahaha...design western food...teh peng...the lecturers not all but most of them...the people... and all the Year 3's haha....hope you all are doing well...take care guys...

i am off...tired haha =D

and also susy, nobel, marisa, hendri...yeap though through these years there are alot of conflicts...still we are friends...yeap just take good care =D love ya'll lots...

AND also GWENDELYN I SUDDENLY THOUGH OF YOU!!!YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR LEG HAR!!!

OK CYA ALL GUYS =D

hahaha

2007-08-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

YAY sip is here and yup dunno whether should i be hapy or not haha...erm yeap but then from the first week i learnt alot...the people at the company are good also lol can get to play pool ping pon ps 3 and wii...hahaha fun though....erm i think maybe life has chagned for me i think i should cherish more...really i think we all are shen zai fu zhong bu zhi fu....now i truly understand this...we all should feel happy...yeap just stay happy...arrghh sorry i am tire i will continue the post tml lol...

yeah

2007-07-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

yay so happy now coz i just finished my COMDA presentation yeah haha...erm after doing on deja vu i really learned alot haha...alright anyway...yeah i still have vid pro 2 and comda write up to do...haha...erm...yeah...

Saturday
went for cq's bday and then jane was quite...no very dumb as she at first wanna give us a surprise but yet in the end she acidentally revealed the surprise and the surprise was....susy came back...dunno whether issit good or bad...haha no la jkjk...err anyway susy i wanna get lots korean songs from you lol...

erm yeah we had dinner at janes dad's place and had satay and zi car...haha...anyway after that we played games like zhong ji mi ma...OMG...guess what our hands are all drawn machiam like henna art no it's sumthing worst...or should i say hand graffiti aiyah same difference la...ok anyway there were photos taken and hahaha we took the "Jane love CB" anyway guys please do not call me CB i am very sensitive one just that i always with sistaz long already thats why i am alright with them or else PLEASE dun call me by my english name initials thanks lots....and know whats the worst?

my name is Ngoh Chang Boon...so if you put the 3 initials together...it will be NCB!!!! what the hell la so vulgar lol...but yeah lol still people laugh at my name haizzz sad...

erm yeah oh anyway shit sia my bro injured his right elbow then we need him to shoot break dance demo for us but then yeah he injured himself...sian but he told me that he could still dance...but still i worry more about his hand coz if anything happen i will feel guilty till i kill myself....coz dancing is his life....and it's going to be my life too...yeah going too lol...

lol my brother was playing guitar few days ago and singing this song called Now and Forever one i dunno by who but it's nice yeah lol...then because he always play on guitar that song so i would singalong...sing-along i mean with him then its like i found out that we are more towards the rythm and music kind of people haha...i love to dance he loves it too...i lvoe to sing he loves it too...he plays guitar...i play er-hu...-_- lol....abit weird though lol...suddenly out of nowhere er-hu...ok nvm somethign better...erm....recorder....eh i can play it very well okay i know how to play three blind mice hor...damn zai already hor...oh anyway went to cosfest so some weird cosplays and saw rika cosplaying as calintz...OMG the costume everything totally the same damn zai...

ok anyway thats all take care guys lol go rush work lol

2007-07-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

ok haha...so now i have alot to say but i always forget things lol...erm ok saturday i went to collect the pay for christine jamie and mave...and then after that head down to parent's shop to help out...OMG finally the shop is up...still love the yong tau foo dad cook...haha...erm ok sunday...now is 1:07 so is yesterday le haha..so basically yesterday jane and lt came to my house and when jane called me...i got this..."WEN JIE!" -_- hey lol that was lame lol...but yeah we are SISTAZ so yeah lol bo pian lol...erm yeah and jane did some lame things like going to susy's blog and tagged the "WE HATE YOUR WATCH!" lol...damn funny....and then while jane is doing her work...me and ting went to sheng shiong and bought some snacks to eat lol...we bought loads ok anyway just to tell jane and ting this..."FAT!" lol haha...we seriously ate lotsa snacks lol...erm ok next i just bought super robot wars OG(original generation) OMG such a nice game lol....though its all in japanese still i dun care...just play lol...erm yeah finally not an emo post lol...yeah....

ok thats that i gotta go get ready for my comda consultation tml and yeah SIP IS COMING UP wat the hell la...we so late then sip haizzz....sian...hope it all goes well...really wanna get into lights and shadows... yeah man they are so damn good in motion graphics...really impressed by their showreel...their 3d works for the architect companies are OH MY GOD...OWNAGE MAN...so damn good really must go in lol....ok take care guys...and nights =D

....

2007-06-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

yeap i guess my last post was too emo...actually these days school is quite quiet...sometimes 3d room will be filled with people and sometimes...its just empty...erm ok la these days...yeah still love school the way it is...i love it when finally i see PEOPLE FROM OTHER COURSES OF OUR BATCH ONE IN SCHOOL!!!! OMG ok though i like dun talk to them one yeah i still feel happy when i see them lol...just feel like waving and give them a big HI...yeah coz like erm they went for sip so long and then yay nv see them for so long suddenly very kau wei(uncomfortable)...yeah lo...so yeah guys when i am all hyped up and wave at you all erm you all can just ignore me if you all want lol you know how crazy i can be also lol...yeah erm so ya...just wanna say hi and that i still put you all as my frens...haha...yeap...lol...erm....yeah sip coming soon SHIT OUR CM FOR SUCKY PLANNING AND SUCKING ATTITUDE...SHE TOTALLY SUCKS TO BE A CM....CM (Crystal Maiden) IS BETTER THAN HER LOL...OWN YOU CM!!!LOL hahahaha

opps i am so hyper lol erm yeah anyway take care guys...nights...=D

it's all because of you

2007-06-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

when i was young i used to get abused by...yeah...but you are the first person to come to me and cared for me and made me happy...i do not have a good child hood but yeah you are the one who gave me the good memories...other than you...no one...i finally understand...you waited too long...really sorry...i never took initiative and was always quiet...i found out that i do not have the courage to say that...and even with my friends i find it difficult to say hi to them...there seems to be a barrier blocking me...stopping me from being friendly...everything was so fast...i went near the end of breaking down...i really miss you a lot...so much...we are so near yet we are so far away...because of you...i really learned that i should not be quiet and express myself freely...yeah...i am really stressed these days...so many things coming at me at one time...my heart really could not take it...but...i pulled it through somehow...i find it so hard to trust people...and also...i have no aim or anything now...i am just so lost...just to hope you would be there...people come and go...but you do not...you seem to be always there...i am getting more and more hot tempered recently...even when people disturb me just for fun i will get very angry because i will think beack when iwas young how i was being...and you are actually not there...

haha...

2007-06-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

long time no blog haha...yeah erm...these days...ok la not stress or what...it's stress but it's not stress as well...dunno why...starting to get immune to stress...lol

yeah just started granado espada and it was real fun haha...train train and train...anyway it's free haha so who cares...just play lol....

ok erm YEAH i just dled skype and yea can chat with sistaz and many other ppl already yay =D

ok thats all...take care peeps =D

songs...

2007-06-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

actually these days i have been repeatedly listening to these 2 songs...both are by Misia...a japanese singer and i really lover her songs as they brought me through alot of things...yeah...

"Everything"

I met you by chance during one of the times we passed by each other
Isn't it wonderful that a miracle that I wished for
Is right next to me
Wanting to be with you, the time that we can't be together passes
Slipping through the door, again I remember
You laughing with that person My love, don't make me sad
There are nights that I cry myself to sleep
Don't look at the past, just look at me

You're everything, you're everything
I'm stronger than you think
If you have kind lies for me, I don't need them
All I want is you

How long of a time can be called forever?
I want to go to the endlessly far away future with you
And peek at that day with you
My love, hold me
Like you always do in the midst of tender times
Hold my hand and look only at the present

You're everything, you're everything
If I saw you even at the place that we parted
Surely I would forgive you, on any night
You're everything, you're everything
I'm strong enough to dream of you
Now let's bravely change the power of love

You're everything, you're everything
If I saw you even at the place that we parted
The pain in my heart would always disappear
You're everything, you're everything
I'm stronger than you think
If you have kind lies for me, I don't need them
All I want is you
You're eveything, you're everything
You're eveything, my everything...

yeah the lyrics are very meaningful...

another song...it is from a game...Star Ocean 3 : Till The End Of Time and it is very nice...

'Tobikata Wo Wasureta Chiisana Tori'
'A Small Bird That Forgot How To Fly'

The airplane that is flying in the air
The cloud looks like white snow from the window
Fly to the place where you live
My heart keeps shaking

Seasons and time, everything is changing
You look, Orion shines in the horizon

Just like a little bird that forgot how to fly
I seem to missed somthing
Borned from the place which is hurt
I found near-pain happiness

I didn't know at that time, There is nothing more drifter than lossing happiness
Don't want to face directly, each others' distance and anger

Seasons and time, I want to chase and see
You look, the light colored sky where sun rises

Just like a little bird that forgot how to fly
If one day I should find something
Lives from self-aware place
The near-pain happiness, That must be it

Just like a little bird that forgot how to fly
I seem to missed somthing
Borned from the place which is hurt
The near-pain happiness, Now I found
That's it...

yeah anyway take care peeps next time i will try to post the videos here though i still dunno how lol

these days...

2007-05-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

erm...i would say...these days had been quite fun...i mean these 2 days...had 2 modules this block...alternative design(aka p3) and also design trends and issues 2...ok first...

design trends and issue is one that i know...i mean i know as in i understand what is expected in the final assignment...but then when it comes to alternative design...suck...know why? because we have to GIVE OUR SELF A BRIEF...or rather say...we are now like lecturers ourselves giving ourself assignment brief and problem...and also we must set our own criteria for ourselves...seriouly i admit when i went for the briefing and heard all this...i was shocked...and stunned...coz everything sounds so zen...is like i am a human...but i am not...yeah sumthing like that...i know that was random but yeah that is the truth...

ok nvm at least i agar agar know what i wanna do today when april was asking what we wanna do...i said hamster ninja...making a video in a perspective of a hamster on how it looks at a ninja...wah that was totally random...i seriously dunno what i am thinking about lol...

actually at first i was told that i need to integrate other courses into our media which is video...at first i thought of doing interior design and video...because i watch a BoA mtv and they have this back ground of a interior of a house drawn in perspective and then after that they use after effects to add motion graphics...so i thought it was quite cool and i wanna do it since i know hwo to draw things in perspective so why not...but then...NO coz after the briefing everything screwed up and so my hamster ninja idea came up lol which wa damn damn random...i owned myself lol...

haha yeah...erm...these days i had been thinking deeply...i decided to write a letter to her...but then after thinking about it...if i send her the letter...there will be 2 consequences...first being...she wun even care about it...and second being...i will make her feel stressed...so i decided to let it go...yeah...i threw the letter away...i wonder why i am so stupid...like a kid...still thinking since young we are together so now we must be together...what the hell am i thinking about...i found out that though i am one year older than most of my frens in poly...but still i am childish...

but yeah...i still dunno whether i am fully mature already or not...haizzz shit man...i fell sucky now...ok anyway take care peeps...

i know...

2007-05-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

yeah finally i submitted my stuff haha...anyway these days i am really very emo and stressed...yeah...i may be acting crazy but it is all coz i am stress thats why...and sorry to matthew and ben...i din know what i was doing...i am too stressed...really sorry...i just want to vent out my anger...really...yeah...i know i have been really emo...but still i am trying to act tough as if things has been forgotten...but its just so difficult...but yeah all these years of acting tough and let people have the impression that i am should not be taken lightly is hard...so hard that i feel like i should give up already and just be my real self...yeah i am really tired...but luckily i have a group of frens who really care...really cares for me and make me laugh...now i truly understand why...yeah...

i have waited since i was young...and now it's all over...everything is shattering...but i must slowly mend the pieces together...yeah...

take care guys...

saturday...

2007-05-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

i am now down...truly down...

i should just keep quiet now...

i hope both of you are happy...

yeah...

i mean...i can't do anything now right...

what should i do now...

go on normally...i guess...

gloomy i would say...
because of this...
i quarreled with my fren...good fren i guess...

i feel so bad now...

i guess i should go take a rest...

when i love someone...i should have tell them earlier...

and not...regret later...

i am crazy today...

i did everything i could to make myself happy...

and now...i am in point zero...

totally sank down...

i should go take a rest...

i am truly sorry...

the person i quarrelled with...

i am just so hot tempered...sorry

haha

2007-05-16T10:14:00.000-07:00

first of all...SORRY SUSY...lol dun worry la i think i coz i too stressed of work...not got depression if got i not here already...anyway SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING for such a

L o o o o o o o n g

TIME...

its because i have been very busy with work...ok anyway...these things happened...me, jane,liting,lyr went to watch spider man 3...ok quite good i like the title sequence and how they introduce their characters...their cg was good...but after watching spiderman 1 you will think that spiderman 3's action is not as good as it was back then...so yeah lol...

OH YAH ANYWAYS...i already XIA TING JUE XING... i wanna do a ACTION SHORT VIDEO for my FYP LOL... yeah man gotta choreograph all the action shit wonder if i can still remember some moves from last time or not lol....arggghhhhhhhh...gonna have kick ass protaganist and a super idiotic villain in that show... lol erm for the talents...i still dunno...anyway i am already writing the story already...wonder if it is good or not...nvm when i am done with the story i will show to my frens lol...haha...

erm ok these days...OH YAH anyway after that zouk outing...one week after that on thursday we went to MOS again lol...all thanks to ashley lol coz she got invitation and its her birthday...

yeap had CDI meeting FINALLY AT THE POST PRO STAGE...WOOHOOO... yaeh man zai zai GOGOGO...and FINALLY SEE JANICE lol...so excited when see her lol coz really damn long time nv see her...yeah...erm yeah still got what ok erm the demo sent to avex trax was turned down lol but NVM...PERSERVERE...NV GIVE UP hahaha...

I GOT PERSERVERANCE=Ring of health + VOID STONE lol haha ok this is one of the dota items...

ALRIGHT anyways...today when i was at the interchange...i saw timothy lim...at first i can't see properly coz i nv wear specs then i squint abit...then he was waving at me then after that i waved back lol... then after that i went to school then after that i do work slack a bit and do work again ok anyways...i think i am cherishing the times i am having now...coz come to think of it...another year of study will be like a blink of an eye again...oh anyway...we are encouraged to go for the graduation ceremony...i think i will go...haha just go take a look...

yeap graduation ceremony...hmmm...haha might wanna do sumthing...gotta start taking photos and videos...=D LOL

yeaps haha ok anyway i am damn random now...and yeah love ya all lots...take care guys...=D

chilling out...

2007-05-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

ok erm...i really dunno what to say...
first things first...i enjoyed the time at zouk yesterday till today at around erm 3 am...this is my first time to clubbing...yeah...abby gone the fastest at 12 30...and maveric is next...then we stopped clubbing and waited for them to get well at the entrance haha...damn funny they really dunno what they are doing...but then i dunno why...i can't seem to get high...maybe coz i am stressed or what...and i am damn sad...i cannot drink alcohol as i am allergic and when they all cheers in front of me i feel left out...haizzz..fuck myself go to hell man...y am i so weak...i found out that i am getting more quiet and mroe quiet...

oh yah anyway at zouk we saw lotsa tp des sch peeps...like andrew,jeffrey,rei and elroy and so on...

yeah it's a small world you see...so anywhere you go you will also meet people you know...yeah after that we went to the opposite roti prata shop to have a drink...but then i nv drink...anyway my bro is also at zouk and he started smsing me whether i wanna go home or not...arggghhh...then in the end i have to go home with him no choice coz if i go home later i wun have money to take cab...so i left the group first...but when i walk back to zouk and meet my brother...we went to river valley boon tong kee to have supper instead...then after that when i call maveric they all...they all went back to the club-_- wah lau i tot they going already lol...sian...the supper was stressful though coz my bro they all were trying to console dharni...
i should not have went with my bro and stayed with the group...arggghh i dunno la...

i feel like i am getting more anti-social...only in front of my good friends then i am able to talk with them...haizzz...i really dunno...when i reached home...i cried...i dunno y i can't help my friends sometimes...haizzz this week is emo week...alot of ppl emo...and yeah...i dun wanna have any enemies or ppl who are going to hate me...haiizzzz AIYAH I DUNNO LA ...this post damn emo...

ok anyway take care guys....i am damn tired...

tired...

2007-04-22T02:09:00.000-07:00

ok so basically today went out and had some fun with them....yeah...but still i feel something is missing...ok anyway yeap at first went to k-box after that walk around marina square...after that we went to slack at mac to wait for lyr and then after that we finally head down for steamboat at marina bay...alright about steam boat i am raelly scared of it...really i somehow dun like to go there to steam boat lol coz after the steam boat will feel very uncomfortable and you will have a kind of body smell...and i mean it the smell on your body just lingers on you until you reach home...is those charcoal like and prawn like smell...yeah...ok anyway finally i will be putting pics on my blog...

this is some kinda erm fried bun...very nice!!!

ok on the left is a monster..in the centre is a worst one...on the right is a demon lol...

ok erm this is a funny one lol we tried to take photos of xi nu ai and le and in the end only the le turned out well lol...

COOL YAEH i like this photo man love it lol...woohoo...i look like some erm ah beng from some places i dunno where but look like some bad guy...

OK THATS ALL...this is the first time i arrange my photos so neatly on blog...and it is killing me lol...

funny dreams...funny day...

2007-04-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

alright so basically...acting is pushed back to the add drop week....ok now i have to rush for tv programme design and is like OMG...because i have 2 individual concept and 1 group one to do BUT...it's totally alright with me lol anyway i love typing documents lol...

ok now to my dream...alright...today...or rather yesterday night...i had a weird and funny dream...so basically...in the dream it was first person view....what happened was i actually acme to this ninja village and then it is isolated...later on i continues walking...still i saw nobody...i was very scared...when suddenly another ninja jumped infront of me and held his katana to my neck and...i was freaking out when suddenly he pulled out his mask and lean his face towards me in a fast speed...however, my katana pierced through his body(yes i am also a ninja what a werid dream)...then...i woke up la of course....but one thing...i cannot see the person's face...LOL...but i dare to confirm is someone i know...i dare to confirm...coz his hair is spiky(-_- wat a good reason lol) but still i think he IS someone familiar and one more thing...he is erm kinda tall and cool looking...ok still it doesn't show any signs of similarity to any of my frens lol but i still wanna say he looks familiar lol....

ok one other thing...just now at sch...i saw the orientation peeps preparing things...and i was so starting to miss orientation LOL...urggghhh...actually wanna join one but haiizzzz...you know la where got time...ARGGGHHH...haha i think i should concentrate more on my work now...I GOT SUCKY GPA!!! ARGGGHHH...hate it man gotta work extra hard...get into a good company during SIP and then do well for FYP...and then go army(what anti climax shit is this lol)...

ok guys i gtg...cya all...nights and take care =D

yes i am emo so what...

2007-04-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

yes these days i am very moody...if you cannot stand me go away...nobody asked you to come near me...i really hate it...live your life happily...you dun have to even accept my existence...

i am really going crazy...really going crazy...i am really stressed...i wun wanna be outgoing anymore...people will find me irritating instead...i should just stay as quiet as i can when with my poly mates...coz almost anything i said will either have ignorance or get fired back...no one would care...only for 2 of them...

i already said all the sorries i could already said everything that i can...all i need is just ppl to listen to me seriously for once...and once again go away if you can't stand me...

moody...

2007-04-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

shit alright my low blood pressure come again...feeling damn giddy and tired...cannot concentrate well on stuff...do things anyhow do...even playing games...i seriously very sick of this...the doctor say i like that is alright one coz maybe is sometimes i not enough sleep or nv eat 3 meals regularly...haizzz...i really dunno...actually today when i was at shoot...the area around my stomache hurts alot...also giddy...i am really afraid...aiya i dunno la....

the school seems so dead these days...so little people...all go SIP except for MOI and IMD...i am really really tired of problems that keeps going on to no avail...really pissed off...sometimes just think of...aiya dunno la...i am very tired but i cant get to slp...thats the worst thing...and somemore this block though is only 2 easy modules...i still have CDI and performances coming up...i am really afraid that i cannot cope with it...i am totally stressed out and tired...

i was on bus just now...i think i blacked out for a while...shit...i need to go see a doctor...i am really afraid...hope that i have no problem...i remember last time when i am so fatigue is when pcomdi...at that time it was the final presentation...then i really cannot take it coz run here run there then i relly really cannot take it and then after that i went into the class room and squat down...or else i might fall when i am standing...haizzz i still remember the worst time was during sec school time...i faint almost every month...

haizzz arrrgggghhh...i dunno la...okok take care guys bye bye

sad...

2007-03-25T05:07:00.000-07:00

first of all i am sad coz my two god brothers is going back to australia take care dudes had fun with you all...and also ah qi...remember to take care of yourselves...must take care...and lester dun piss people off over there which i think you will...

another thing that i am sad is because i know i love to share youtube links...its very annoying i know...but still i wanna share coz its funny or good sometimes....and when i share...it means mass share...and people will just ignore and put as away or any other stuff right away when i paste the link...if really it is so irritating...sorry...my fault to annoy you all...

i dunno...these days...i feel very moody...sometimes i will just get very angry and sometimes i will just be calm...nobody is respecting me...i dun wanna be someone who jokes around anymore...i hate it...sometimes people dun even care about me...i will not care about how others look at me now...i wanna be serious...dun wanna make people laugh anymore...if someone is to laugh at me i will wipe the smile out of your face....

finally...and i am feeling down now...

2007-03-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

finally my Project 2 and Video Project is over...

I really feel really lost now...Just now when i was at school, i went to one of the orientation, media group's, meeting. Then that brings me back to last time when i was in orientation, entertainment meeting...haah i still remember we were stoning at some point of time squeezing out ideas together...i really miss those times...miss all those past 2 years in design school, i know that i still have 1 year to go...but i am just missing...

ok now this block is over...once again next block i have acting and TV program design...i guess it would be fun...but then still i feel down when the thought of only MOI and IMD will be the ones left in school as other courses is going for SIP the next block...i am starting to regret...should have be more friendly...but i am just shy...though i know it's not my problem if other courses go for SIP...i know...its just that the school will just feel more empty...and yeah....

everyday used to have something to look forward to...but yeah now no more...everything is work work work...i am really going crazy and getting stressed out...

but no matter what i just feel like saying...take care people and good luck for you all's SIP...yeah will miss many people...

SORRY!!!!

2007-03-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

LOL the reason for that sorry is because that i too long never blog already...is like yeah almost a few weeks issit? lol i think so yeah man aiyah paiseh sia peeps these days coz too busy with the Project 2 and Video production WHICH BOTH WE NEED TA DO THE SAME THINGS!!!!! so basically in this SHITARD SCHOOL TIME TABLE SYSTEM WHICH IS THE "HOLY" BLOCK SYSTEM!!!!WE HAVE TO SHOOT 2 FREAKING VIDEOS IN ONE BLOCK(AKA ONE MONTH) TIME!!!...sorry if i am too agitated i think i should just cool down but NO... i need to chiong like mad...actually these days i found someone who i can raelly talk all my things out to...???OMG lol the sudden change of mood like so random okok paiseh paiseh...

ok anyway i found out that my mum super funny she is like us la...like when she call her fren then she straight away ask..."EH wanna go K(aka Kbox) or not" lol cannot believe it...this is what i usually what sistaz will say...oh yah anyway sorry sistaz i am too stressed these days...

yeah actually right...i found that these days is like...i dunno i feel empty...when i am tired i tend to go hyper and machiam drunk like that... but then is like aiyah i dunno la when i am hyper i will tend to forget stressful stuff and is like i feel like crying sometimes thinking of things...haizzz...dunno la...i think i gtg...

ok take care peeps...bye bye cya all take care ya...

dunno...just miss...miss so much...

FINALLY

2007-02-26T08:41:00.000-08:00

OMG STUPID GOOGLE ACCOUNT THING DAMN ANNOYING...

paiseh har peeps lol so long nv blog...i think i am already forgotten but still really sorry...okays anyway...lol anyway again...

erm HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!
haha so happy, this year the ang bao not bad...quaite alot...especially when i ws at malaysia...there i got the most lol...okok anyway its just a gift...its the heart that counts...no matter how little i am still happy =D

yup basically things went like that during new year's eve
we went to our big uncle's house for reunion dinner and then we gamble lol nv lose nor win things i lost i win back at the end lol so no climax lol...ok la abit during the winning part lor lol...

after that 1st day of new year...went over to my sec uncle's house to painian as the whole family was there...ok next on that same day me and my parents went to malaysia to painian for three days and my bro stay in singapore as representative lol...

when i was in malaysia lol VERY FUN...i get to play fire crackers that we dun even get to see in singapore lol...LOVE TH"E PAST TIMES When i play man...i buy fire crackers about few hundred dollars and then just burn them away lol...but it was fun lol...

and one more thing...when i reached malaysia i was so shocked to know that my nephew was just like 5 years younger than me... LUCKILY they call me kor...or else i will feel damn weird lol...imagine if they call me uncle lol...ok la also can but i will feel weird lol...ANYWAY MY NEPHEWS ARE ALL CRAZY DOTA PLAYERS...THEY OWN LIKE CRAZY OWN BATTLENET...wah lau i am their uncle and i am worst than them lol...damn fun me and my nephews were playing through the night...just nice there are 3 coms...actually 5...the other 2 is used by my uncle for "gambling" one... we play like mad lol...but come to think of it now...what kind of uncle am i man lol teach them bad lol...when i later know that they always also chiong till the morning...OMG...faint...lol

yeah i DO have happening nephews...lol...

so for all those days i played dota and firecrackers there lol...

was damn fun and i love the life there...

ok anyway i fast forward...YAY thisblock is over CDS over okok can slack abit...abit as in like 3 days...i am lying to myself actually tml sch starts again lol...

oh yah anwyay i took photos at malaysia when i got time i put up lol...

okok cya peeps take care bye bye =D

utterly pissed

2007-02-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

suddenly i feel i am realli useless...sometimes helping people also get scolded...feel like fuck now...
seriously what can i do...all i can do is give in to things...give up so many things...yeah true i might even give up my...liting what you say might be true...i dunno i am totally screwed and fedup now...

i am realli a useless piece of thing...i can't do much...i only make people get irritated of me...i only let ppl hate me what else more am i...just an irritating idiot...

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh.......

i realli wish to scold every single vulgarity i know since i learn to scold vulgarities now...yeah right now... i really want someone to let me scold everything at him...haizzz i should not do that i will do to the wall better...wun make ppl angry...

being hyper just doesn't bring me anywhere as i said long way before its just a fucking way to cover up my stress... thats y i will just go crazy and do hyper stuff to make ppl happy...i realli...fuck i dunno what bad things to say about myself anymore...i should fuck off now...

sorry peeps i really need to vent out my anger thats y i scold so much vulgarities in this post...if you cannot take it sorry...

weird...

2007-02-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

i dunno why...when i thank ppl i will sometimes bow...no instead mostly i will bow subconsciously...lol weird...

ok anyway today i went to school at 11am for meeting then after that went to audio then after that break then after that creative writing...this block is okay...yup still can cope...

anyway...i found out that i have a really cold side...realli cold side...few days ago...it was the first time i ever had such a bad temper...that was the first time in poly life i did that...i din know that i will do that...and i din expect myself to say those words so impulsely...maybe because things really went too far and i realli need to let the person know...

other than that...i am trying very hard already...and now it backfired...i guess nuthing can save it...dun worry haha...i dun have a gf...its just other things...

yesterday my judo master called my house...that master taught me when i was like 7-9 years old...i din expect him to call me...i mean seriously for so long already...he still remembers me...haha i must agree that he is a good person...there was once when my parents are busy and no one to come and fetch me haha...i was the only one left at the training place...i forgot what it's called i think judokan or sumthing...so there is only left with me and him...i sat at one side waiting for my parents...when he saw me and called me to go over...and then asked whether am i hungry or not...then i said no...then after that he said "okay"...after that he bring me to the mat where people spar...at that time i only get to see people spar and i dun even get to spar haha...lol and next what he did was to teach me how to attack simultaneously without even caring about people's defence...it was cool though and i must say it was useful...lol...soon after my dad called him and dad came to fetch me home...i realli miss judo times...though i only learn for 3 months...i can still remember that judo master haha...

lol shit...i forgot haha...oh anyway he called because he want to call me back to judo lol...weird haha...ok i am still considering though...so busy lol...i mean its weird because after so long already more than a decade already he still called to call me back...haha...haizzz...i dunno leh...now i am so stiff if i go back i can't even stretch abit lol...

lol my aunt from new zealand came back...and i only see her for a few secs thats all and then she went back to malaysia lol...

yup thats all for today cya and take care peeps....

HAPPY!!!!

2007-01-28T02:26:00.000-08:00

I AM SO HAPPY FIRST OF ALL THANKS TO ALL THE PPL IN MY APEL CLASS...HAHA...AND ALSO MOST IMPORTANTLY ON OF MY LECTURERS...SHE IS SO GOOD THAT SHE LET ME GO TO THE AUDITIONS...YOU ROX MAN...I WILL NOT FORGET YOU...YEPS AT LEAST SHE IS A PERSON THAT I CAN RESPECT...=D

sorry for the caps earlier on....other than that i must thanks my group members too =D THANKS LOTS YOU ALL MEAN ALOT TO ME IN FACT EVERYONE IN MY LIFE MEAN ALOT TO ME!!!!YOU ALL ROX =D...

the auditions was fine i guess rika nad maveric was good haha...when i was singing my lungs were burning i dunno why...maybe i pushed myself too much...i really gave my all to sing out...

yeps after that we went home lol....was fun...and yeps i am realli happy now...take care peeps =D

stressed out...

2007-01-25T09:03:00.000-08:00

i just came back from town...though i am happy just now...i am still very stressed...

to go or not to go for the auditions...

i am afraid that i will fail my apel...

then i have to retake...

i dun wanna let my parents down with my studies...

yet i want to chase my dreams...

i am so stressed now...

alot of ppl call me to go...

i want to...

instead i felt very confident...

but thinking back what if i have to retake apel and let my parents down coz i have to stayback...

i am realli angry and stressed now...

i wish have someone by my side now and just let me cry...

i really cannot take it anymore...

all these years all those obedience...

i have missed alot...

should i play truant...?

and be defiant for once...?

i really dunno...

feel like...urgh...i dunno...

i am very lost now...

still i realli must say this...

i hate lecturers who look down on their own students...

sad...

2007-01-23T07:22:00.000-08:00

i am very fedup and sad now...just now i was acting happy...when i was with janice maveric and rika they all...though i was lame just now...i just wanna stay happy...

i cannot go for JYP auditions...first was batam trip...ok that one nvm...but this one is because of APEL i cannot go for the JYP auditions...i just now already went to talk to my lecturer about it already...i asked him whether can i go after i finish presenting...he said "WHAT IF" everyone also like me wanna go for audition...then all also wanna leave early...but that is only what if....i mean can't you a lecturer think flexibly? i already go knock on your office door and asked for permission...and this is how you look down on me...you even pour cold water on me saying that..."so what if you nv get in?"...is this how a suppossedly APEL lecturer should behave like?...if that lecturer is Ronald...it would be much more better....he is one serious lecturer i look up to...he respects ppl's dreams...he is one lecturer that i look up to most...he just respects....unlike you who dun even respect people's dreams and look down on ppl...

"i mean, there will still be other chances in the future..." come on i feel like slapping your face when you said that...you think it is so easy for a music company from Korea...HELLO I MEAN FROM "KOREA"... to come for direct talent search?...you think they so free always come...?

yes i may be desperate to become a singer...but not till that extent of being defiant and not go for class just to go for an audition to try out...at least i am responsible enough to go knock on your door and try to work something out...i know i look damn ugly...and i wun have that high chance to become what you think a singer...and you no need to say those words...but at least respect me...when i have already respected you...

yes i am realli fedup now...this is the first time a lecturer nv get their own students...because it has lecturers like eric koh that look down on you...and dun even care to respect your dreams...but not all lecturers are like him...there are real good ones...

take care peeps...

long time no see...

2007-01-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

hihi peeps haha...it has been so long since i blogged lol....yeah open house was very fun and i went to all three days and now i am having no voice anymore coz i keep on explain to the students lol...

ok so on wednesday...we sent susilo away...and after that i went down to tp for open house...the last day was rather easier coz there are not much ppl so i ran around the school with mave lol...he was so desperate to find "L"...oh anyway when i entered school i saw someone cozplayed as ichigo and came out of a cab...lol...

erm other than that these few days have been recording songs with rika. janice and mave in the audio room...

ok other than that not much things i would like to say haha...oh ya anyway JYP entertainment...which is rain's company is coming to singapore for a talent search lol hope to go for a try...

just feel like...

2007-01-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

dunno y haha suddenly feel like blogging...

ok these past few days since my last post...i haven been repeating "Di Jiu Ye" (No. 9th Night) by coco lee...and i finally understand the lyrics...its actually very meaningful...

Once again...i am almost finished with memorising the lyrics...and next up haha of course recording in sch...so good that there is an audio room in sch haha...this block i have no lessons so i wun be appearing in sch lol...but i have apel 2...only have to go back on 13th and 27th...so if anyone wanna meet me out can call me haha...

yup days have past and years have past...i was browsing through all the photos...photos since i was a baby...the first thing that came to my mind is...i've grown...i am not a kid anymore...

then after browsing all the family photos...i looked at SISTAZ photos haha...including the neoprints we took...haha...time really flies...flies like nobody's business...

However...i think time is made in this way because it want us to cherish life...cherish every moment...

thats all for now...take care peeps...

MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL AT ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

OK HELLO EVERYBODY DUN MIND ME USING CAPS COZ I VERY EXCITED AND HAPPY....HAHA...

Xing de yi nian Xing de kai shi...in eng it means "new year new start"....ultimately obvious that i direct translated it lol...but yeah i realli wish all of you a happy new year and also wish all your new year resolution come true...GOOD LUCK GUYS =D...all must stay happy happy la hor thats the most impt...

OK now is backtracking time as i very long nv update...ok christmas was FUN...went to marina square with SISTAZ...not full one though but me, jane and liting...yeps of course we went to sing Kbox then after that we went to eat at the coffeeshop where jane's parents are working at...still love the satay....its just superb...love it....ok anyway the zi char(aka cook fry once again direct translation again...) ya was good too love it...^^^^^...remember last post i talk about i love to type "anyway"...yes the arrows are pointing to that word...which simply means i typed it again lol...ok i am being lame lol...oh yah to continue...after that we went to mac to play UNO it was fun =D...<---lol this drooling face again

ok next...new year's eve i was lonely i did not go out which at first was supposed to..not with sistaz but other ppl...however later cancelled...alright was planning to go to some friend's friend house whom we know one of course to countdown but in the end cancelled...-_-...ok anyways(<---omg that word appeared again) i countdowned online with Janis lol....and on msn sia....the most funny part is when it's already new year...but i still ask janis "How many more secs?" LOL very very ultimately superly uberly i dunno what more super super -ly or -lies i can talk about retarded.... at that moment i realli thought that i was realli retarded...slow by a few beats(aka in chinese normally ppl say man san pai)...yeps then after that my bro wanna use com then i go slp lol...

ok next up is err is counted as yesterday already coz now is 1.47 am....yup went to KBOX ONCE AGAIN...2 timed KBOX in a month...ok as usual jane woke up late...liting came late...susy just reached Singapore so she had to rush home to prepare b4 she can come so cannot be blamed...lol i am the earliest =D...(<---see see see drooling again lol)
ok so basically i asked for a room first...then lol i felt so weird...first time one ppl in the room singing...so what i did was that i warmed up but i did not do much lol...eventually i select the songs that i wanna listen and instead of trying to sing....i listened to them lol....go KBOX to listen to songs but not singing lol how weird can that be...ok i fast forward abit...ok after they all reached one by one...we finally get into the mood...omg first time see susy since she came back... LOL then damn funny when she sing "Hui Jia"(aka "Go Home" by sun zi)...Liting was laughing like mad so i laughed along LOL...at that moment i also dunno y i am laughing definitely not laughing at susy just that when Liting laugh at that time i felt like laughing lol some more laugh until tear lol...ok after that we PLANNED to cycle at east coast but no...in the end we went...hold on lemme figure out how to type the correct Gelare with that one stroke above the "e"...
-
Gelare
YES I DID IT .....

ok once again i am being lame...

alright so we went Gelare for waffles...and it was nice...LOL...
ok after that we went to NTUC fair price for steam boat ingredients lol...
after that we went to susy's housefor steamboat dinner...
after that we played UNO and heart attack...
after that we left susy's house lol...fast forwardins ended...
FINALLY ALL SISTAZ ARE THERE...=D
damn happy actually...

okok so thats all anyway...on the way home when i reached my block's void deck...i saw one of my basketball pal, lester, kissing with a girl that he never noticed me...wow does kissing makes you so paranoid until you dun care about the ppl around you?...haha guess so...anyway...seeing them so loving...i just walked past them...i turned back suposedly wanted to say "hi" but then when i turned back...he was already staring at me...wah at that time i felt a gust of very heavy killing aura(aka Sa qi in chinese)...so i smiled at him and just walked away and while walking to the lift the girl said "Why you keep on tiao him..."...lol wah tiao me ar lol...seeking death?...ok anyway after that...he msged me "eh dun mind my gf...paiseh...happy new year..." LOL dunno i find it damn weird...first maybe i turned them off when they are kissing thats y he tiao me...second msg me to say paiseh lol...but in the end i msged him back "lol chill la nuthing one la nimpeh so small gas meh"...lol my msg abit beng lol but thats the way i normally communicate with my basketball pals lol...haha lester if you got come and read my blog right...chilla la i know i am fierce at times but only under certain circumstances so dun worry...happy new year too anyway lol

life's a bore...

2006-12-19T11:05:00.000-08:00

alright basically i went to work i mean i got work and is like short hours work....then right i worl at this turtle soup shop....guess what...first i am quite afraid of turtle soup already though i ate b4 but somewhat i find thtat it tastes weird but then in the end what i wanna say is that i still dare to eat only that it tastes weird....ok anyway...back to track...erm look that shop owns their own turtle farmin indonesia...ok this is side note...ok now realli the main thing already...ok look other than selling turtle soup you know what they sell? they sell crocodile soup and somemore got license one....wah hin ah(hin means faint in teochew) then wah lau i find it very very gross...ok anyways i heard it was nice once again...hin ah...ok now i've stop working coz suddenly the shop got enough ppl...

ok next i have been having insomnias since i forgot when but is during sec sch life....

ok next...i went to kenshukai at jurong kaikan and it was quite fun...there is linda, young rui, and tpsd ppl....luckily got them or else i will be damn sian...lol ok anyway during the kenshukai,(OMG...i am using commas) 2 days one night(<---dun you find it weird i should have type the "one" as "1" ok for those who find it uncomfortable i will type it 2D1N) camp...there are ALOT and YES i mean ALOT OF TALKS...and talk until everyone are nodding their heads as in sleeping those kind of nods....ok anyways...after all those talks...finally there are some funny plays lol...an i mean it it is damn funny all the schools right they prepare ji pua ji pua(half...half...) one...and then right there are alot of realli funny stuff happening around stage ok its hard to describe...anyway i think the most funny one is one of my frens lol who acted as some yamamoto guy when he signalled for the lights off damn freaking funny...ok after that is OTOT(zi you huo dong for those who dun understand it is Own Time Own Target learn from dotc camp lol credits go to rei) ok anyway...yup it was funny and then next day when we wake up and expect more fun stuffs............NO TALKS AGAIN AND TALKS TILL WE ALL GO HOME...ok overall it was fun...wah anyway right there is one tp fren of mine 4 am still kneeling in front of the gohonzon to chant...pei fu....i dun chant much though haha...but i have a weird habit...like sometimes i will feel like going infront of my gohonzon and kneel down...this has went on since i was young like 5? haha ya....but i dun chant much haha...oh ya to finish it off...for all the talks...it was ALL ABOUT DAISEKU IKEDA...and whats more they repeated the name "DAISAKU IKEDA" ALOT ALOT OF TIMES until my head nearly burst haha but yeah he is a great man i pei fu(impress) him too haha...

ok a next up...SUSY IS BACK FROM AMERICA!!!!!LOL jane says that we will become slaves again haha yeah somewhat agree LOL...haha ok anyway this time she come backk will stay for a few months...and what i want is really a FULL SISTAZZZZZ OUTING PLS K THX( the K THX is credits to lih kang and rika somewhat i "learned from them) okay anyways( i foudn out that i love to use a lot of anyway)anyway...i want to take neo prints sistaz lol realli like damn long we nv take already lol we must huai nian those times....

ok whats more....actually no more....just to say that ppl dun be scared of me i am not scary i will not eat you all up i will bring laughter to you all....and also the effects stacks(<---this is for ppl who plays dota) ok anyway(<---you see again anyway) lol ok anyway(OMG again)...ya and i hope ppl wun have any misunderstandings about me i am a realli positive and cheerful person when you are down and need someone to talk to can find me haha i am always there for you all...haha ok promise...yups...and good luck for all those who needs luck( <---once again this effects stacks...each good luck i type adds 15% to your luk stats) so good luck good luck good luck good luck good luck good luck...ok i think enough or else imba(<---once again this word are forthose who plays dota for those who dunno the meaning it means over powered if i am not wrong...) 7x 15=105% wah more than enough already...but still if you all need mroe just tell me i type more...ok this paragraph is random stuff lol...ok this post no almost every of my post have alot of spelling errors lol agree? lol yeah ok anyway(wah lau again lol but i dun wanna delete coz i lazy to press back space) ok anyway ok i know i typed it again...take care ppl =D love ya all lots =D...(<---the smiley face with dots look like it is drooling lol)...ok bye cya all =D

thoughts...

2006-12-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

these days i was watching "Gunslinger Girl" introed by ka y...the anime was very good very emo and the assasins are cool...they are young girls that kick ass...haha...yup other than that i have been chionging my final fantasy 12 super fun...i got all the strong stuff early game coz i go check on the power walkthrough faq...and early game i can clear alot of weak stuff arleady...

yesterday was feeling bored in the night...so i suddenly have an urge to go to cheers to buy a drink and take a walk around my area...i plucked my ear piece and listen to my favourite songs...i took a long stroll from my block to cheers and by then i listened to about 3 song...and yeah it was really very slow...while walking i thought about lotsa stuff... like what happened these days...family problems...yup...and also the times with sistaz...also the times in sec sch...also the times in poly...and also the times in design orientation...its like time past so fast...time realli flies...

so after the long walk i reached cheers (finally)...yup and i bought a bottle of green tea...and then i opened up and drank it(of coz la)...ya and so after buying my drink i walked to my CC to see whether the basketball pals are there or not...i took another long stroll again...and when i was walking two songs that lets me feel most just played...first was BoA's-Cant Let Go after that it was M-flo feat. Yoshiko's-Let Go...yup listening to these two songs is like contradicting myself...let go and cannot let go...haha i am weird...

So when i reached TP...eh???(what tp la if i walk till tp i will die ar)...ya when i reached the CC there was a bunch of teenagers playing but not my pals haha...so i walked back home again and once again another long stroll...and this time its really long like one step about one hour? haha no la i anyhow say one...ya anyways its just slow...then i walk walk walk walk................................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................(<---these dots represents the steps i took to reach home, if you believe me then i think you need a psychiatrist)

and FINALLY TADA i reached home....

yup actually i am trying to cheer myself up by watching funny stuffs on youtube after i raeched home...but then it just nv takes effect....haizzzz i am so emo...but am i very lame...? am i? or am i not? haizzz aiyah i dunno la i just wanna make ppl happy haha...=D

ok last but not least you all know what i am going to say.....
hahaha...
take ca.....

HAHA NO this time i am gonna say CARE TAKE HAHA BYE BYE =D

<(^ - ^)>

yep...

2006-11-27T23:43:00.000-08:00

i am very happy during talentquest...it is a performance more than a competition...i dun mind losing...because i had successfully sang one of my life songs( my own term for "a song that is impt to you and a song that you never forget") the song is called "yue liang dai biao wo de xing" a song by teresa teng...she is one of my favourite singers that since young i had been singing her songs and my mum trained me on her songs...i found out that actually old songs are much much more harder to sing than modern songs in terms of the technique...as long as you get hold of the technique of the old songs...you can jolly well change those technique to fit it into modern songs...yup...

i was sooo happy to finally have a chance to sing it on stage again...the first time i sang this song was during secondary school...i remembered my discipline master coming up on stage and blow the harmonica as i sing along...i was very happy at that time...because it was so sudden that my discipline master came on stage to blow the harmonica...and also there are no mistake it was all impromptu i din expect myself to sing it so smoothly...

haha talking about this i remembered those times when i was young and singing on stage...during primary school i only get to perform a song by evelyn the singapore actress...i forgot the title but its a nice song even...my choir instructor who is my form teacher said i sang well...haha during primary school choir it was soooo freaking funny because i was thrown all around the four sections, Bass, tenor, alto, and sorprano...know why? lol because last time my voice can reach the range of all four sections and in one performance i have to run to differnt places to handle different songs and also set myself to the tone...it was totaly tiring lol that i told mrs tan who is my choir instructor to put me into either alto or sorprano coz bass and tenor already have enough ppl...lol...still remember how she taught us to breath using the diaphragm...

lol ya lor so many memories haha....and yeah i must really say this i am soooo happy...IT IS HOLIDAYS NOW!!!!!! and SISTAZ I AM READY TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR WITH YOU ALL.....!!!!!!!!!!!SO EXCITED TIME REALLI FLIES SIA...haha okok cya peeps take care =D

damn pissed off...

2006-11-20T09:56:00.000-08:00

i am realli realli damn pissed today...how can i say...i mean seriously if you are playing a game then play quietly dun give so much comments ok...i know i am damn noob in playing game and i admit...and please if you want to tell ppl quietly then you might as well say it in front of me that will be more wu ji (got balls you get me)...because anyway if you say it quietly i can still hear...ok other than this i am damn pissed by the other thing...i wonder why so many ppl wanna diao me at interchange and pls i know the difference between diao and just look...if anywhere beh song can just tell me one...wu ji ka ka lai(got balls then just come la ya it means sumthing like that)...i noe i very handsome ok...you no need to jealous and then beh song me and diao me one hor...okok anyway i think i should calm down...suddenly like very beng haha...

tell u all some jokes
also got link with wu ji( i explained earlier already on what is wu ji)
ok anyway the joke starts like this...there are 3 types of forces in singapore right?
the land force, the air force and the sea force(erm i think the naval sounds better)
ok in chinese is hai(sea) lu (road aka land) kong( not empty is air)
ok back to joke...
ok so these 3 forces they came into a conference and then right ther three was talking about how wu ji each of their men were...so the air force started off with this...

Air Force head shouting to a soldier: hey you go ride on a plane and then do kamikaze (which means fly down straight onto land...)

and so the soldier did...

Air force head: see this is what i call wu ji...

next the navy shouted to his soldier: hey you go ride a boat and then go into middle of the sea then you drown yourself...

and so the soldier did...

navy leader:see this is what i call wu ji...

ok so finally the land one...

land force head shouts to soldier: HEY you go take a gun and shoot yourself...

soldier: eh seargent(<--i think i spelled worngly pls correct me on my tag box) you mai siao la i still want to live one leh...why dun you shoot yourself...

land force head: see..this is what i call wu ji...

LOL get the joke? haha ya it seems like i am not that pisseed in the end...and i think i told the joke to alot of ppl and then they say very cold...

ok and finally take care people =D

LOL...

2006-11-11T04:28:00.000-08:00

today something damn hilarious happened...it is totally ridiculous and seriously at that time i really feel like shouting at the person as i just wake up and i am in a bad bad mood...so basically this morning i woke up...and then after that my mum's long lost fren (i seriously mean long lost fren the last time they met my mum is not married yet) came from malaysia to visit her...then some how when she came...i opened the door and when my mum came to welcome her she just say "wah your daughter so mature already ar marry her to my son la"...ok so basically i was damn pissed at that time i feel like giving one kick and send her to holland(pronounce it as hollarn will sound funnier)...but then i just woke up and i was damn tired to do or say anything so i just diao her and walked to my room and bang the door and got back to bed again...LOL damn funny...after i woke up she was still there and just nice she is leaving thank god...but then before she leave she said something which really made me want to use rasengan or any power i can use to hit her to holland(once again hollarn sounds funnier)....when i just opened the door and walking towards the kitchen to wash up she said to my mum "li eh zao kia wu ia xi jin sui leh" sui li eh tao lar ...ok let me translate it means "your daughter really very pretty" pretty your head la can't you see my adam's apple meh...ya so basically i think when they were chatting my mum nv clarify to her that i am a son and not a daughter...LOL? ok its not funny at that point of time actually but come to think of it now i am really damn pissed yet i am laughing...but normally i dun diao guests normally i will pour water straight no matter how bad mood i have but this time i really cannot tahan...

ok thats all ya haha to add on...this morning when i woke up before that "mum's long lost fren" came i thought i had apel then i remembered mine is during the week 37-40 block lol i nearly get ready my clothes to go to sch lol wat the hell...

ok cya all peeps bye...take care...

......

2006-11-10T08:45:00.000-08:00

these days i really have alot of ups and downs...

always during night time one of my relative(i dun wanan mention who) would call and really make me wanna go and die....i really feel like dun pick up his calls...but then i can't coz...yup i dun wish to say more...i just really dun want him to touch my parents or my family...please i can do anything you want me to but please dun harm my family...noe y i say it in this tone? coz you went too far that i cannot accept you as my family member...

alright nowadays is like after school then all go play cs...haha...remember those times at the lan game shops haha play until very high...some even quarrel over small little things...

yup ppl from all courses joins in the game haha nad rox man we all really had fun...

yup basically i really hope to have a full sistaz outing when susy comes back...also i really hope that jane and liting can come cheer for me during talent quest...=D

yup thats all take care ppl cya all bye bye

this is really meaningful...=D

2006-11-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert..........During some point of the journey they had an argument,and one friend slapped the other one in the face.The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.They kept on walking until they found an oasis,where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and starteddrowning, but the friend saved him.After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, youwrite on a stone, why?" The other friend replied"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away.But, when someone does something good for us, we mustengrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS INSTONE.Do not value the things you have in your life.
But........value who you have in your life!

yup i totally agree with this...

its been so long since i update...

2006-11-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

haha these few days had been playing dota and cs in school...haha...so long nv play already and tds has realli become a lan gaming place...

actually today i was supposed to play bball with wei jie they all one but then i found out that i forgot to bring clothes to change...so nv go in the end and played cs in 3d lab...

yesterday was the audition for tp's talent quest...i sang very badly...it just seems like i forgot how to sing...and yup my singing is bad...i am getting from bad to worst...Yijie sang well she realli sang with her heart...maveric is improving alot even better than me...ferlicia is of course still the same, the kind of explosive voice...but for me i forgot how to sing...anyway when we were having auditions the moi/imd guys are playing soccer at d'olympics wanted to go watch one but unfortunately our auditions dragged too long...

monday i must go watch them play bball...haha...feel like going back to primary 6-sec3 that period...almost everyday play bball haha...after that become slack and seldom go play already...

i am feeling very tired and stressed now...with all the works and family problems...i really need to take a breather and continue but things just keep on coming at me...i am really going to break down if this goes on...realli going to break down...when i am alone i start to cry when i am with frens i try to stay happy...i am realli going crazy i think...please stop it...please...

lol...

2006-10-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

i dunno where to start haha erm wait har lemme think....

OH ok yup actually last saturday went out with jane and liting(sistaz feel so empty though) to marina for K BOX!!!!LOL very fun we got this VERY BIG ROOM and yes i mean it VERY BIG got pics but jane haven send me lol...ok anyway i sang songs that i like and mostly are R and B ones...lol i sang before i fall in love with a weird style...haha...anyway dunno y i just feel like saying this...singing R and B is like walking...=D just that easy...once i start to "walk" when i am singing the feel just gets there...wooo just found out sia lol...

ok we zi pai in the room and also recorded the parts when we are singing and i took photos with stef sun in the tv one though LOL very funny...when i update the pics u will noe...

ok so basically i found out that these days i am starting to get frustrated easily...and also sometimes i will just get fedup and do some wrong things sorry...if i did anything bad i dunno y but i just feel frustrated these days...haizzz...forget it...

i dunno what but i am feeling weird now...very lost with frens...very lost...i dunno y i am having a distance between liting and mave they all...just lost...now like everyday after school i just seem to have much to talk with them instead i think someone amongst them maybe even dislike me being with them...sometimes i just sit somewhere and stare into blank space...doin nuthing....just thinking if some frens of mine realli hate me or what....i dunno...just feeling so empty...

i notice that i like to give in too much and in the end...all i get is nuthing...

so much has happened these days...my grandma got into hospital and still...forget it...

i am also afraid that i will...lose frens...

i was taking bus 40 with wei jie,jamie they all and after they left the bus i just felt so empty...looking out of the bus just makes me so feel lost...

still forcing so hard to smile sometimes...laughing alot just to let out all the stress...instead when i hear a joke when all has stopped laughing i will still continue laughing because i just dun want to show back a glum face...

i dunno who visits my blog...maybe some of you know me much maybe some of you know me lesser...but no matter what...just to say take care people : D

take care...

Thanks!!!!!=D...and past few days what i am doing...

2006-10-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

ok la the title i noe very long but just to sum up everything lol...

first thanks to ferli all of MOI and IMD they bought me a cake lol...i was watching people playing dota and then suddenly their screen says...
"eh CW's birthday...pause game..."
ok la honestly after seeing this i was damn happy...lol but ferli when i go toilet i realli nv see the cake lol...haha this was on monday which is Oct 9th lol

ok for Oct 8th...which is my birthday...lol...i asked my sec sch frens whether they wanna go eat suki sushi or not...then they busy lol...ok lor nvm...then in the end i went as planned to watch the what...john tucker must die lol not the host already lol...seriously dun ask me anything about it...i was so bored not because of the show just because there is no one to talk to...lol and i slept in the cinema -_-...lol is like 5 mins into the show then i realised i am in lalaland already lol...what a good present for myself haha -_-...

ok so today...no is yesterday already coz now is 2.44 am lol...yup for yesterday ok just to state the date Oct 10th 2006...yup we went to class to watch this show called "PIE" actually is the pie r square that pie the equation one ya that one i think u all know coz all of us learned maths...ya and the show quite weird lol but it was good though...not bad...

actually seriously la these days right,(oh my god i finally used a punctuation lol) in class is just watch movie lol...but very fun coz we got to have a different perspective when we watch movies...haha...and after getting into IMD/MOI my views in everything changed...i watch movie not for the sake of watching but to analyze...one thing i love to analyze is the acting part...yup...

lol my posts all alot of LOL one haha...and all these "..." lol quite annoying sometimes lol....ARGGGHHH what am i talking about again haha ok peeps....

u know what i am going to say...TAKE CARE PEEPS AND GOGOGO =D

tomorrow...

2006-10-07T05:21:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow i am to catch a movie on my own haha coz it's my birthday =D...treat it as a present for myself also not bad...yup going to watch "The Host" maybe...lol

yesterday was my lunar birthday haha...and mum gave me $50 ang bao...luckily i have that or else tml will not have enough to watch movie lol...

yup since this is not the first time i watch movie on my own...i will buy popcorns, drinks lots and lots to fill me in the movie theatre lol...yup

was very happy shu ling still remembered my birthday thanks jie =D

haha take care of urselves and dun overwork...

yup...

so the only thing i should do now is await for tomorrow...

i wanted to call my frens out for movie one but just afraid they are all busy haha...

tomorrow will be 19 years old already haha...

seriously...time flies...it just flies so fast...

haha

ok gtg take care ppl=D and u all really must coz now the haze is getting worst =D take care...

The results are out...

2006-10-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

yup the results are out erm now is 1.15 am supposed to be today one but then lol they always one day earlier...

FINALLY i got an A and is PCOMD...haha damn happy the A rox my world man lol...i like sua gu haha...

yup a couple of B's and 2 C's...in all my GPA improved by from i think 2.2 to now 2.7...

haha i was quite satisfied and one thing is because of lucinda those in her class got pushed...it's a good motivation for us...SO WE MUST DO BETTER PPL....

EVERYONE IN TDS JIA YOU JIA YOU GOGOGO WE MUST ALL GET GOOD RESULTS NOT TO LET OURSELVES AND SOME LECTURERS DOWN =D...

ALLL THE WAY!!!!!!

omg hyper mode activated again haha okok i must deactivate or else cannot sleep lol...

okok ppl take care all of you =D and SMILE

ALSO LOOK FORWARD AND DO BETTER NO USE LOOKING BACK JUST LOOK FORWARD AND CHIONG =D

haha...

2006-10-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

these few days i felt realli down...i sometimes think that i ahve no responsibility...though i am at the age where is should be responsible already...i will still feel bad sometimes because i take too many things at one go and try to accomplish them...

like few days ago...there are 3 things for me to go to...and i went for only one the other 2 i just msged them that i am having a performance soon so i have to go for my practice and the performance notice comes so last minute also...i realli dunno why...but i found out sumthing...i dunno how to refuse...i only always say yes yes yes...even if ppl are joking i will still believe...even ppl are going to con me i will still get conned...even ppl are saying that i bad i also admit i am what they say...i realli cannot take it anymore...

being a good person seems to being me nowhere...i dun even get any respect...

sometimes i realli dunno how to control myself and just cry...

because crying seems to be the only way i let out everything inside me...

i know of course if you want to get respected...you must respect others first...

i did...

but still ppl fool around with me...even friends they think that i am someone who can vent anger on or sumthing...

all these while trying to make ppl laugh but y am i like that inside...i realli dunno...

sometimes you dun noe how things that come out from your mouth can hurt...using brute force to hurt...it will recover...

but using words to hurt...it might stay there forever...

i am really really disappointed with some of my friends...

some of my frens can throw away old frens and make more new frens...neglecting the old ones...

but i dun think like wise...as long as they are around you cherish everyone of them...

haha how stupid am i saying all these...

in a few days i wil be a year older...i should become more mature...no i must...i am not yet mature enough to face sumthings...but from now on i will try to reject when i should...

but no matter what and how you treat me i will still treat you all well...because i cannot put myself to hate...

guess i should stop...haha very emo...how dumb am i...take care ppl

bored...real bored...haizzzz

2006-09-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

haha back to blog again =D...

as you can see holidays are boring...and i am bored yes and today i just finish watching "Goong" and it rox man...is a korean serial about love in the imperial capitals of Korea...lol i still dunno that there are still this kind of system in countries like that...

ok things that happened are these...
i went to malaysia and came back.
and then after that i bought rpg games to play lol...
and then i slacked at home
i feel like working...haha but sch is going to start...
part time maybe.

yup other than all htese i have been thinking about alot of "what ifs"
what if i am born a singer's son...
what if i am born in a family with ninja/samurai blood line...
what if i am born in my friend's family( LOL for your info this is damn funny one i just thought of what if i am born in their family what will happen lol...)
what if errr i am born in imperial families like Korea and Japan...
what if i am a professional killer's son...
what if i am i am ARRRGGGHHH no more already LA i really doing nuthing until think of all these crap...

ok tell you what i remember most i imagined that i am a ninja and was slashing and dicing through bad guys to save my frens =D cool right HAHAHAHA
i think too much already -_-
OH YA one more what if i am born in a century with Mechas...
i will be piloting a gundam? lol haha dunno la lol

ya lo...anyways after watching Goong i found out that fate and destiny cannot be forced only "SUN QI ZI RAN" yup haha

aiyah dunno la the crazy guy inside me is jumping out already...
hyper activation mode...
.
..
...
ACTIVATED........
LOL okok i am being random again =D

yup also BoA got new singles already and err currently listening to

MIDNIGHT PAREDE BY BoA LOL AND hip hopping lol...=P

Lost superstar...cut my hair...try to blog in a new way...

2006-09-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

Hihi ppl...long time no see haha or rather blog lol...haha okay so basically today is friday and i still thought that it was thursday...first of all dunno y i wanna say i am bad at dota...lol ok anyway the main thing is i lost superstar once again and this time worst i din even get to 2nd audition...very very disappointed with myself and i really wanna say sorry to my mum...and everyone who wished me good luck...i am really very glad to have you all...but i still disappoint you all...but still i dun care how many singers actually go for competitions...? yah? so there are other means to become one...i will try and try not giving up as long as i know where i am heading for...

ok now to the next topic...i cut my hair already haha...felt quite good having short hair again... BUT...i only cut the back part just to style...and one thing...I DUNNO HOW TO STYLE HAIR omg i really need to ask ppl to teach me how to style hair i am really very noob at it haha...i really dunno la lol just trying new style lol...

ok...basically i found out that i nv ut photos in my blog only for once...lol...erm but i still do not intend to put photos...???...what the hell am i talking about ain't i contradicting myself? lol okok haha i am really very tired 2 days ago just finished jogging 2 rounds around my estate and my legs are really aching alot...haha jogging is good though i guess i should start now lol...

ok peeps thats all for now take care ppl cya all =D

Teacher's Day =D

2006-08-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

haha today i went back to broadrick sec sch haha at first though of sleping but suddenly sumthing struck me...it have been a very long time since i go back to see papa(Mr Tan) and mummy(Mdm Lim) lol they call us to call them that haha all of us call them that lol...haizzz...sec sch so fast past already...realli miss it...still remember the graduation i cry like crazy realli like crazy...you know what...Mr Tan and Mdm Lim actually tricked us to bring our past and present photos and past it to them during one of the CME classes, they said was for CME...however...during the graduation ceremony when all classes's students and teachers all gave them special words of encouragement...the hall suddenly quiten down and a video played...and damn it i was the only guy to have the first tear bursting out...both our form teacers actually made a video on our past and present and lol I WAS THAT FAT AND SHORT AT THAT TIME(SEC 1) haha so funny...and then some more the video got the song "If We Hold On Together" i think that's the title, it's from "Land Before Time" the dinosaur one haha favourite cartoon when was young...haha so happy to see all the teachers and papa and mummy today lol...since Broadrick moved this is my first time visiting the new school...many teachers left except for some and the some are all who had teached me before...all cannot recognise me coz of my hair and they all said "Go CUT la" haha then i smiled...but then finaly got one who is Miss Boey...she said, haha maybe this is your style...yup all teh teachers are still very caring and cheer for us...they even know that i would go for Superstar and cheered for me beforehand...everytime before my performance in sec sch, i remember all the teachers will cheer for me...after that they will praise me without fail...even when there was once i sang with a fever and sang badly...after that they still praised me...
I have low blood pressure...so normally i will faint easily...during sec 1-3 i have times when i fainted but still having some conscious...i just felt very weak and cannot move also cannot open my eyes...but i can hear teachers shouting for students to get away so i can get fresh air...also i remembered one of the PE teacher Mr Fong carried me from the walkway of the quadrangle to the medic room...fainting is normal to me now haha...but i am better now just that recently i overworked and then tend to feel giddy again...haha...always forcing myself to show the strong side...but sometimes i really cannot take the giddiness and just go pale...
haha anyway teachers are like our 2nd parents during sec sch life they are the ones that took care of us most of the time coz most of the time we are in sch...
i am so glad to have those teachers...especially Mr Tan and Mdm Lim...they changed all of us in the class to be more mature...we have grown since then =D Happy Teacher's Day =D

September 3rd Superstar Auditions

2006-08-30T05:24:00.000-07:00

OK this time i really hope i can get on the tv shows haha...this time round no more imitation of JJ whatever things...for now i have found my own style maybe haha...going to sing an jing for the auditions...and maybe yong gan by zhang hui mei and zhui shou xi de muo shen ren...hahaha...yup yup...just heard Misia's Everything and really inspired by her voice goin to use her style in my singing i guess...haha thats that i am going to practice my singing cya all =Dand take care=D

YAY

2006-08-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

alright now everything is over haha yesterday played games with PID peeps in school yup was very fun haha and saw IADs rushing for submission anyway after monday everyone should be more relief...for my course i will be relief but for others i not taht sure lol...yup was happy to hear that our presentation with the other groups one was good...oh yah today the thing i hate most hit me again...sistaz remember i used to faint? yup the low blood presure thing came back again...haizzzz...i think is becaue over worked or what bah...was feeling very xing ku(i forgot how to type in english) and then feel very giddy...nearly fainted when i was left alone in the rom haha...anyway its over now...i cannot run too much now...but is for now only lol...yup haizzz....haha i sigh a lot of times....haha...what am i typing...i somehow starting to overcome my prob which is the "HI" problem lol...felt good...all the while i was afraid that ppl will shun me or ignore me...but no...Design school has a bunch of good ppl=D...ok back to Superstart practice... from now onwards everyday i am gonna memrize 2 songs and improvise it...this is my project haha...ok take care people cyaz=D

haizzz

2006-08-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

i just went to all the sistaz blog and i feel sad...dunno why...i am really sad...for what i dunno also...but then i really wish to have a full sistaz outing...it's been long since we go out ALTOGETHER...not even one full neoprint taken...i know you all are busy with your own things including me ...but i really wish that we can meet up one day to watch movie take neoprint together =D...miss those times haha...no matter what take care all...

i have been very confused with myself...
what can i do...

Just a post but something maningful

2006-08-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

i dunno why i feel like posting now when i realise that i have CDS test tml for leadership haizzz...hopefully with studying and chanting helps haha that was what i did for my O levels and got straight Bs lol...ok haha sometimes i really feel sorry for myself...i think i lack the courage to say "Hi" to people i know and i dunno why...Some people i feel very comfortable with but some i will just feel shy...dunno why am i so weird...sometimes i just cannot i mean i really wanted to say hi but i dunno whether should i or not i am just worried...haha i am that weird even in my association or even sec sch friends sometimes for some i will just be very shy and dun dare to say hi...i mean seriously its not that i act dao REALLY I AM SUPER AFRAID THAT THEY THINK I AM VERY DAO AND START TO HATE ME BUT I MUST REALLY SAY SORRY I AM JUST VERY SHY IN PERSON...after that than i come and regret -_-'''...haizzz sometimes i really dunno what i am doing...i can be crazy very crazy that some of my sec sch frens will stop me lol and then some even held me that tight to stop me lol...so funny...but then still haizzz i must really oversome this "Hi" problem and become more sociable haha...saying a "hi" sometimes brightens up people's life haha...i was with my mum again in the "ke ting" erm i forgot how to say in english arleady...then i asked her "mummy have you ever regretted anything u did in your life?" she said "no?" then i said "y are you so confindent?" she then replied" wen ar listen to mummy always make decisions very firmly and do the things that you decided on with courage do not be in dilemma but choose the right thing to do and you will not regret..." i said" haizzz but i dunno leh i think i always dun dare than too shy thats y lose some friends..." the she replied again "haha mai siao la...zho lang ai ju ka ka lai mai ju sua( want then you do it bravely or else just retreat...i think something like that)..." then i said "orh haha mummy...haha no la nuthing..." lol see i dun dare to say again i sometimes even shy towards my family members haizzzzz.....

7th time crying on bus haha feel so good after that

2006-07-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

ok i was taking bus 67...after my performance...the moment i plugged in the earphone and listen to "My Prayer" by BoA it just somehow brough up alot of memories...many many flash backs...first oof is my sistaz they all had followed me all along me al these while and i dun think we are friends we are like siblings caring out for each other...and i am really grateful to them...they are the ones who pull me out from misery and made me smile and laughed a lot...with them i am not sad at all...and i really dunno how to thanks u all...really...next off is the orientation camp...i seriously dunno why but then i think the orientation changed me some how...actually there is a part of the orientation where i was sitting alone where we are gettingready the balloons writing rubbish stuff and crying while writing haha i was damn sad at that time and yup we the entertainment group is a funny but stressed bunch of people...haha still remember we slacked and slept together in the LT lol...and i learnt alot and met alot of new frens in orientation...i really learnt alot...yup erm...somehow i still think that entertainment group inspired me alot i dunno how to say but in a sense haha...next thing that comes to my mind is my mum haha i promised her b4 that i am not gonna let her down and promised that i wil become a singer...and i aim deadly at my target to becoming a singer i wun give up...i mean in life so many things happened and sometimes u really wanna be grateful to so many ppl that yup u will want to say sorry and thank you to them...all of them...sorry and thanks to you all very much love ya all lots =.. )

yesterday's outing and dinner

2006-07-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

lol yesterday was super fun hehe we gain about 1-2 kgs erm and sweat myself and went to kids section at parkway library and kboxed and lots and lots....ok so the journey starts like that first off we were all late as usual lol and susy got to parkway first she called me it was 10 30 and i forgot we gotta meet at 10 30 lol and so i met up with her at around erm 10 40 outside parkway ntuc hehe first thing she said to me was "weather sux and my mood sux more" and so i said sorry hehe. after that we went to popular coz i gotta buy my sketch book to draw anime faces wow i finally learned the art of drawing anime faces hehe erm ok so i bought 2...when i was at the counter i saw this mag and on it has LEE JOON KI OH MY GOD i just love him i mean in the sense that i chong pai him coz he is a damn pretty boy and omg in the movie c"the clown and the king" he is loved by the king can u imagine omg and the actor himself is actually a taekwando pro. i am in taekwando too but then i was only at white belt lol...ya and after buying the sketch we went to parkway to shop window shop around. susy was seeking for some tablet-put-into-water-will-go-sssssssss....-slimming medicine and so we went to both guardian and watsons BOTH ALSO DUN HAVE omg sian ji pua lol and so just nice when we are searching like hell, JANE CALLED haha and then we went to K...yup everything was very fun and we were singing the songs that we sang before and loved and i must mention this we sang "If I Ain't Got You" omg love it...yup erm so we ate the k lunch but one thing happened susy, jane and ting got into stomacheache state and nuthing happened to me maybe i am immune lol erm anyway yup they went to the toilet 1 by 1 lol. so we sing sing sing and left K oh ya we saw qian hui also...anyway parkway's kbox sux lol...erm ok so we went to parkway and jane and liting said they gtg buy smthings and jane called me to follow susy coz she also gtg buy some thing...and so i followed susy on the way i asked her "what you wanna buy?" she said "thongs or tongs or sumthing like that" ok anyway it was later clarified that she wants to buy G-string. AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL SI(DIE IN CHINESE) JANE CALL ME TO FOLLOW HER LOL... ok anyway we went to isetan and to the female section i told her i always treated u like a sister so nvm is like sis and bro buying things...so she nv go buy the tongs or whatever i wanna mention ok and she go and look at some clothes but when i followed her into the clothes section she said "haizzz i cannot focus when guys are around" then i went out lol then she follow me out and said "aiyah forget it" lol. ok so she went to but a facial product from Clinique i tot she always bought from SK II lol ok anyway after buying we went to library and went seperate ways with susy coz she need to go see house ... ok i dun say the library part coz is like we went there stay at kid's section and making the bookshelves messy coz she wanna look for books with ang gong gia(cute pics in hokkien hehe)...lol poor kids ALL JANE's FAULT LA...anyway i saw a toddler keep on staring at me whenever he walks pass me and i feel like hugging him coz he's sooo cute hehe but his fater there so i dun dare lol...dunno i hope that i can give birth myself lol...weird thinking but then babies are really cute omg ^-^...ok anyway after that we went to susy's house play mahjong lol the whole game was damn funny liting thought that N S E W can make up a " gong " so she confidently shouted "GONG!" LOL i stunned for a while when i saw the tiles and i burst into laughter i cant stop myself from laughing it is just soooo funny lolololol... ok so after that we went to eat MEE SOTO omg i just love it all thanks to susy's mum omg her cooking skills are damn good the best thing is the soup it is sooooo nice and lol once again I LOVE INDONESIAN CHILLI the chilli is damn damn hot that my face got red on the first sip of the soup and as it went on it turn redder and redder and than POM!!! haha no la jkjk hehe...and than i sweat as if i am playing basket ball (lol fyi i usually go into hyper mode when i play bball and i sweat like hell hehe) okay anyway i also cried not cos i touched or what coz it is VERY HOT and i just cant stop myself from eating more i found out that when i eat very hot things i cannot stop omg...no wonder i am so hot lol jkjk cannot be i am damn ugly haha...ok so the time goes on we went to the balcony susy made avocat for us basically it is made of avocado and it is very nice and also good for skin and hair if applied i think ^-^...yup erm so we went to the balcony and we chat about lotsa stuff liek scary stuff sec sch stuff erm and lots and lots more lol...susy's mother brought sushi out and treat us eat and omg the evil sistaz forced me to eat 2 no 2 and a 1/2 of them and i have no choice but to stuff it omg this is the first time i eat until like babarian i usually eat the gentle way coz food must be respected and cannot waste =D ok erm so we ate chips and once again susy's mum made tea for us to drink so that can wash away the OIL lol...susy's whole family are kind people =D and so we chat and chat and chat and so the day ends...and we went home and realli thanks so much to sistaz realli we went through alot now i know what is real friendship...love ya all lots ^-^ and jance as promised a one giant paragraph composition hehe bleahz :P meano^-^

lol end of block now holidays =D

2006-06-23T05:54:00.000-07:00

YAY lol so funny lor the last post i posted was at the start of the block and now it's the end of it lol so happyyyyyyy ^-^...ya lo now holiday already only got one thing on mind...look for work...and PLAY hahaha i think i am going back to my cumi bali restaurant to work hahaha long time nv see my colleagues already...i must go back and eat the potato the sayur lodeh (curry vegetable) and yup the chilli sauce omg i cannot take it anymore i want it now lol...haizzz so fast 2 blocks past already...erm actually i dun have much things to talk about today just too happy already haha so yup stop here =D take care peeps =D

new block

2006-06-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

haha my this new blcok got 2 mocules...first i have Audio1 WHICH I LOVE IT I RECORDED MY OWN SONG LOL fun fun haha...=D...yup and erm i have this storyboarding module also haha and it somewhat involves a bit of IAD...PERSPECTIVE DRAWING haha but then luckily i used to learn D and T got a bit of foundation lol ya lo...haha both modules are quite fun and yup i love it...the lecturer for audio is John Kuek he is a yup typical good lecturer who does not scold...and for story boarding...favourite lecturer, Ronald, haha had always been impressed by him drawing for popular animations...and yup he has a style of teaching ver y special style no wonder so many students befriend him lol yup...haha so far sch start 3 days passed le and everything was running smooth...but i really hope for the friendship side to run smoother...haizzz...so many ppl have changed including me...i know one of you wanted me to go back to how i was in the past...but it is very difficult i will try i promise...i will not stay close to you all anymore because i think no one would want to be good friends with me...yup that was why i have been turning you all down for dinner...if you all dun like me in anyway tag me i would like to change to a better person...i really hope that there will be no hatred between us...and yup lets stay as friends i really hope that we will become best friends...=D love ya all lots my frens =D

hahahahaha

2006-05-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

ok la sumthing positive lol...ok lets forget about the past and look forward....i will try to forget....no i must but then i am afraid it is too difficult...i think i used to be a good person after i met some problems i seem to change to someone where everybody will hate me.....haha oops i forgot "positive" haha okok la.....

erm look i went to ferli's blog and saw her my heritage results lol she got a few same as me one like BoA, Zhang Ziyi(dunno maybe eyes bah) and choi ji woo lol.....the rest are like leon lai, Bunko Kanazawa(i din know that she is a porn star until i look at her profile at my heritage -_-'''
, erm still got who har...oh yah kim hee sun (jin xi shan) wah lau unbelievable man...my results all is like 70% girls face -_-''' and 30 percent guys luckily got leon lai wah lau cool lor lol but i think the system is a bit crap la....

ok thats all lol cya ppl =D
stay happy

sometimes....

2006-05-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

some times i just feel like taking a knife to stab myself....because bad memories sometimes come back to haunt me...sometimes the haunt become so bad that i will start to have giddiness...one of my relative totally wiped out my dignity in front of the family...during my grandma's birthday...i have always been seen as nuthing in my family...no one would even care to play any games with me during festive seasons like chinese new year...am i that scary...y do they ignore me...some more they are my own family member...luckily on the other time not long ago...the same person totally wiped out my dignity in front of the whole family again...he is a senior...he said relly crude things in front of my grandma...i looked down and cried....i couldn't take it anymore...so i lifted up my head and cursed his whole family, in front of my grandma whom i respect most, real crudely too...he wanted to slap me...i grabbed his hand...i dun wanna get slapped in front of the whole family again...after that he pushed me away...i knocked into my mum...i gone wild and crazy and went into the kitchen...next my father rushed into the kitchen and snatched away the knife on my hand...but i became like that is because of him and some other past times...have u get your clothes ripped of before by ur uncle when he is drunk?and you are just 10 years old?and not for just one time?have you get slapped in front of public or even during family gathering?you think i want to run into kitchen and take that dangerous thing, and for what i wanna do is to slit my own wrist...i wanna make them feel guilt forever....but i would be stupid if i do it...but i must say all these things out because i have to really throw away all my bad memories...

two person wanna meet in this world is not easy

2006-05-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

I have been so soft hearted in the past...haha crying so easily. Sometimes it is good to cry, it just makes you feel better at least for me...but in a show i found a quote "tears that you hold back will become potion of happiness" indeed that is right...one who dun cry is a strong willed person...and for me haha i dunno. anyway recently i watched this chinese song's MTV called "hen ai hen ai ni" this song has a very meaningful sentence "2 person wanna meet in this world is not easy, and so knowing you i am happy enough" this song is actually about how to let go of the one you love. if someone dun like you anymore and likes other ppl just let them go look for other happiness because if you love someone you must let them be happy, and so, just let them go look for their happiness...and this shows that you actually love them a lot that is why you let them go be happy.

that was why i always say i love all my friends. no matter what they do to me...be it hating me or even insulting me or even ignoring me i still dun care. because as long as you feel happy doing this then just go ahead...i dun wish to go hostile with anyone which i won't. coz for 2 ppl to meet in this world is realy not easy. think of it, why am i born here, why do i get to see you, why do i get to know you...fate...maybe in our past life we may be very good friends, comrades, husband and wife, brothers and sisters, son and daughter, father and mother, loads and loads...i just feel that since we met we must be very fated...so please cherish everyone around you all. love them and care for them. always saying take care and good night will make them feel good =D

follow your heart people and stay happy =D

boOoOoringgggg...

2006-05-11T09:19:00.001-07:00

haha ya very boring now...anyway what hapened just now was that me mave and zuo zhi wnet to shoot video lol coz wahidah want us to practice on videocam. LOL the whole video is so funny that even when we are shooting ourselves we all feel like laughing lol.then we keep on am chio(erm how to say har oh ya laugh inside) ya lor then after shoot video we go buy green tea to drink and then we head off to school....then what har...oh yah then was rushing for leadership assignment then faster chiong already pass to dong ni call her help us pass up coz we(me and rika) gotta go for class already. haha today wahidah played all the videos and showed us and asked us sooo much WHY? that i realli feel like slapping myself and say sorry to myself coz i also dunno what we are replying to her...oh yah anyway during assignment 2 we will need actors so yup if any of you all willing to help can msg me haha =D...ya lor then come back just finished playing dota with qinyu they all haha got own again....haizzzz....i very noob...so sad...i hope can use whosyourdaddy lol but then cannot....now is 12.27 am and i haven eaten dinner. just called my bro to help me packet mee goreng plus one egg...coz i really very hungry...haizzz when bro come back he wanna use computer already. oh yah anyway just now when i go interchange and go take bus 7 so qiao met jane again and she told me that.......SUSY IS GOING TO COME BACK LOLOLOLOL.okok great look we are going to go KBoxing, Neoprinting erm maybe parkwaying yah oh yah go cycling also cool we must not waste any time when susy comes back coz in no time she will fly back to america again haizzzz....anyway yup haha in all today was fun but is only now that i am boring

boOoOoringgggg...

2006-05-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

IGNITE TRIP!!!!!

2006-05-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

hoo lau u all noe hor i wery happy after the ignite trip lor coz wah we had loads of fun =DDDDDDDDDD XDDDDDDDDDDDDD haha ya ya u noe hor actually startin when we reach there, there are lods and loadsa misssscommmunicatttion lor and den hooo lau eh u noe hor hee eh("that" in hokkien) hee eh aiyah those guys right they all hoo lau eh go into sea to play sia wah lau got some gals join in also erm like jia yi( BoA ) =D erm jamie if i'm not wrong and yahui lor and then they play play play in water then hor hooo lau eh still not enuff leh they come out from sea still play rugby hoooo lau very rough lor i see already wah like kena bang by them machiam bang by car they all look very strong sia if i go down i surely perh( fly in hokkien) away one....hooo lau eh u noe hor after that hor i neville and jason go 7-11 sia wah lau eh we wanna take the tram one but too cram sia and then hor we bo pian(no choice) we must walk hoooooo lau eh walk very long distance lor and den on the way we talk about emo rangers hooo lau i laugh like a siao lang( crazy person) and den hor hoo lau eh u all noe hor the emo arngers i just now go watch hor hooo lau eh the video was edited until quite good lor hooo lau eh though it is lame hor but still super funny sia www.emorangers.com and then hor on the way 3 of us are primary colours sia i am red neville blue and jason yellow lol we walk walk walk then wah finally reach liao sia and then hor hooo lau eh we go inside buy water lor then when walk out we saw PID ppl stting near coffee bean then we join in hoo lau eh then we chat sia and then we chat things like anime and stuffs sia hooo lau eh after that we go back lor then they go eat pixxa and coz i have a feeling i am gonna have fever which is real and so i went home lol.............i noe this entry lotsa hooo lau eh and hokkien but this s my style u noe lol

haha

2006-04-29T04:14:00.000-07:00

inconvenience regretted i am just being lame coz got problem posting some things lol

Phoenix Eye???

2006-04-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

was watching tv until half way....
suddenly, mum stares at my eyes "ah wen you actually got very nice phoenix eyes."
me "oh really"
mum "but i still think too small"
me "haha born with it one mah bo pian small small lo"
mum "you noe y i say your eyes are phoenix eyes?"
me "y?"
mum "coz when you are still inside i went to the fortune teller and he said that you are gonna be born a phoenix"
me " har?"
mum "honestly since you have grown up i dun mind telling you have the female's bone structure before you are born"
me "har? i beg your pardon?"
mum "thats why before you are born the doc say you are female but then i went to chant to gohonzon that i want a boy"
me "aiyah haha this is fate la see as u wish a boy here"
mum "but anyway your eyes are small but it is quite attractive"
me " haha realli meh?"
mum "but no matter how i look at you, you still look like a girl..."
me "mummy i noe"
mum "(teary eyes) sorry mum thought of somethings"
me "yah i understand i should have a sister one but..."
me "aiyah mummy dun think too much la over so long le"
me "yuan fen (fate) this is it"
mum "you've grown but make sure i dun see you cry not that i restrict you from crying...cry when the time is right"
me "mummy i noe dun worry"
mum "good"
this whole conversation is in chinese one i translate le
i feel like crying now...

IGNITE CAMP ROX

2006-04-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

Erm...first i will like to say personally i think this camp is a great success...and i realli love everyone that is helping out in the ignite camp icluding the sound group ^-^ lol they are a part that made the jam and hop successful...but not forgetting the entertainment comm i love them man we made the jam and hop a great success =D all the programmers and log and admin and everyone rox you all must take care forever we can still do one more camp=D...yup...those hyper stuff...i am sorry reirei i shouted at the freshies during the jam and hop...and ferli i said sumthing bad coz i was not in good mood sorry...yup...and for ppl out there who wish to make friends with me...let me quiet down first...not i dun wanna make frens is just that i am still not ready for it...i realli wish to make more friends...but i am just afraid...anyway ppl in Entertainment comm: REIREI, FERLI,DAVID, ELROY, SHAHID,SIXIAN, YILIANG and MARK...i must thank you all lots coz i learned alot from this camp and from this committee for example now then i noe what is taking minutes thanks to Ferli =D at first i thought it was taking how many minutes we spent on the meeting haha but actually it was taking down notes...i learned fuzzy wuzzy thanks to Elroy =D yup...and REIREI have taught us about the attitude towards freshies =D...David did the emcee great =D...Mark thanks for the tribal dance =D...Shahid had made us all laughed=D...Yiliang has helped a lot including helping to sweep water =D...anyawy u all rox and i love you all =D take care forever...we slept on carpeted floors lol and did lotsa crazy stuff and played water guns together i all we rox =D this camp and you al have lemme totally forget all the sad things and though sometimes i will still be quiet and nv talk and give attitude is coz i am thinking of things...sorry anyway i had lots of fun coz of you all and the whole committee...=D thanks lots and once again sorry =D

Best Friends by Kiroro

2006-04-06T07:16:00.000-07:00

I don't have to worry anymore, cause you will be by my side
when I cry You always smile at me I am blessed because you always shine before me
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
These plenty happiness that I felt at this moment
All the friends that I have here, you the best present
I am blessed because you always be by our side
Surely things that I have accomplished here, those things too give me strength (change to strength)
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
All of your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked atForever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
Always always always my Best Friend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFyHrkE1JoY&search=kiroro go here to watch all my friends...i love you all

so tired after camp...

2006-04-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

yup just came back from camp...haizzz...i tried to be quiet and found out that i can live with that...during the camp Zuo Zhi lost his hand phone and hope that he can find it...haha he is going back to Malaysia and left on second day...yup and i forgot something again...haha maybe this is fate or something...there are new frens i meet during the camp...and when i see them i kept quiet like what i realli wanna change into...i really feel like making new frens...realli seriously...but then i dun wanna have the feeling of losing any frens anymore...that is why i kept quiet and never talk...maybe i wil have a change in mind but i just wanna have a time to quiet down first...sorry...really sorry to people i turn a cold shoulder against...haha yup really had fun during the camp but we are really tired and really hope that the freshies will feel happy too...and one more thing i found out...thanks wayner...after chanting i felt a lot better...thanks lots...i will practice on it...coz i really did not chant much...i owe gohonzon a lot...it has helped me a lot but i din cherish it...sorry...

alright.....

2006-04-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

erm actually i really feel very bad...you all dun get me...what i mean is actually if someone is to anger me again i will get back with them...yup i will let go of all things...I wanna become a great singer...i will chase this dream no matter what...personally i also know that if i hold it so tightly even now and still dun let go i am really crazy...i am not holding tight anymore i let go...even though i think back i will still feel sad some times...but i know i have to move on...so yup sistaz dun worry sometimes i just wanna vent my anger and will say crazy stuffs...yup for now i just wish to stay quiet and a happy person...i know when to be quiet when to be happy...like jane u said follow my heart...i will surely follow it ... dun worry...really...haha my tears are running again i dunno y...but erm...yup i will surely try to become stronger...my bro has promised me that he will find me a good popping(a type of dance) teacher and lemme learn dancing so as to take it as a hobby and forget sad things...yup...thanks anyway...

I am going against everyone now...except for some others...

2006-04-01T09:48:00.000-08:00

look ppl not that i want to have this attitude problem now but then i really have no choice...i just kept thinking and thinking and i just had a really bad break down and now what i wanna do is keep quiet...sorry if u all think that you all will hate me a lot then pls forget about me...treat me as nuthing...i live for myself now...i do not live for others...i go to school to study...not to make frens...who betray...push many things for you to do...make you respect them when they dun even give you a damn...i know when i do wrong things i will surely say sorry...but i dun give a damn now i will only say sorry when i really do wrong things...i dun care anymore when my friends die dun expect me to drop a tear except for some others and even when my cousins die terribly i will smile at their grave...and the seniors who look down on my parents...go to hell as soon as possible before i give you all a hand and make you all have heart attack...i am going to be quiet now...very quiet...i dun give a damn anymore...if anyone dare to betray me...i will also give you all a hand...i had lost myself once...dun make me lose it another time or else you will realli freak off and die...i am not the old chang boon anymore...from today onwards call me chang wen...

HAPPY APRIL FOOL!!!!

2006-04-01T05:17:00.000-08:00

Alright look ppl today is april fool and is my cousin's birthday really i am not lying haha....anyway yup ppl check on ur floor there is a 10 dollar note ...haha just jokein( kai wan siew de) alright anyawy yup....ppl have a happy april fool day...this is a one year one time event...have fun =D

NEXT UP: GENTING TRIP!!!!!!!!

YAY GENTING TRIP SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!

2006-03-27T05:21:00.000-08:00

Alright ppl look ok look tml i will be going to genting....ok thats all for today....haha no lah of course kai wan siew de(just jouking HAHAHA) anyway ppl look i am very happy coz this time i am going with my frens which is my FIRST TIME!!!!haha and also ya i think it will be damn fun...
CHECK LIST
1. People to take care of and protect:
-Ferlicia Ang Ke Xin yup haha lao da jie
-Felicia erm from the HTML eh no paiseh HTM one
-Jamie "Yeo" haha of coz no la erm i also noe her name is jamie only haha paiseh hor
-Liu Zuo Zhi haha -.= this is what he usually do
-Ira Yong Jia-An erm hopefully i spelled correctly yah witty guy yeah
-Herbert erm i think he should take care of us hehe coz he older than us all =D
-Ng Wei Jie haha he look more amture which means i think he should also be taking care of us haha
-Ong Ya Hui erm haha ya this should be careful always careless =P
-Wang Shih Hong haha u always zhao(care) me one lol
-Mummy haha no need la she straight away go play her things haha
-Aunt haha same as above
-Finally ME haha of coz must take care of myself :P

things to bring:
jeans
t-shirt
sweater
toothbrush
tooth paste
sour soap( eh paiseh is shower soap)
syampu(shampoo in malay)
ermerm oh yah HAIR REBUILDER
hair dryer
comb(brush bah)
wah shiok i think will bring eat ones like pei pei mian (cup noodles) mian bao(bread)
towel
erm lol paiseh hor a bit not in order
erm ok lemme see
wait har
oh yah
ME,MYSELF and I lolololololololol

I don't give a damn, I know who I am...

2006-03-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

hiyo ppl wassup anyway what i wanna do today is to talk about trust...alright i have been someone who used to trust people real easily and den when that happens i get betrayed sometimes...alright ppl this thing is two way TRUST goes in two way if u trust me i will trust you...and pls i have experienced this once before already and now i know not and never to trust anyone easily anymore...for those who i shared my problems with i dun wish you all to tell it out to others it is because before that i trust ppl easily thats y i share problems with u all...from now on i will hurt someone real deep down when i realli must i will want the person to feel how i feel...and you wun know what i will do...i can be ruthless, i may be super hated by you all but i want you all to realise how ppl will hate you too...i remember there are a few times i went crazy because in sec sch i used to be bullied a lot and i am realli going crazy in short peer pressure, and during that time i even dare to hold a knife at my brother's neck when i quarrel with him...luckily my aunt stop me in time or else he would not leave to see me today already luckily after that he understands me more and know what to do...however he still nv treat me well i noe i am childish to hold a knife but when i do sumthing i tend to be daring to do anything so pls dun force me till the end...coz once i say i will do it......i will....dun try anything to even piss me off and to recap when i do things i will do it in ur face i will not do it frem the back coz i hate it...i will show u what i got and i will make sure you kneel down and beg me....just simply...dun force me till the end...i will change for the better but a chameleon is still a chameleon it will no matter what change its colour to adapt into the environment...same goes to me dun worry i am not a chameleon but you all better jolly well dun piss me off...or else you yourself will bear the consequences...dun worry if u dun come and di siao me i will not di siao u back instead i will treat u all well

i used to be a non offensive person unless i am realli angry...but from now on i will not easily trust anyone anymore...and those things up there i mean it...

cya ppl
take care forever
and yeah i realli love this phrase
I don't give a damn, i know who I am( it's a BoA's song you see)

possesive leads you to nuthing...let go...

2006-03-21T04:03:00.000-08:00

ok ppl seriously i have been so down all these while and is because of lots of problems...and seriously coz of thinking too much pimples have been growing...so from today onwards i will stop thinking and learn how to let go...after listening to let go by M-flo and yoshika...I feel that i must let go or else things will get worst...and sistaz all this while i am really sorry i have been making you all feel bad...me myself feel very bad too and i realli want to say sorry...and i must really thanks for u all...all this while u all have been encouraging me and letting me able to go on though u all are busy but u all still help me...so far i found out that...life has full of unexpected things...and it happens suddenly it just catch you without you noticing it...i finally experienced many things...i must really say sorry...hopefully u can understand...it is all my fault i caused this to happen...i really dun wanna lose any fren and especially important fren...sometimes i just feel like crying i dun wish to hold back any tears and i will just lock myself up and cry...recently i had a realli bad quarrel with my brother and i am really in no mood thats y i wish some one could lemme vent anger on but i went overfire...actually friends in overseas i must really thank u all though u all are over the other side of the world u all still encourage me through msn...sunaria...nobel...susy...you all are so important to me everyone in my life is important and i really dun wish to hurt you all...and i also dun want you all to hurt me when i din even do anything bad...
now since i have experience so many things...i think i would be stronger but no i become so weak and i am so easily defeated...now what i can do now is to have a stronger will and go on...not to look back anymore...i must be stronger than before...not to trust people easily anymore...i am soft hearted and always being bullied during sec sch i am enough...i want to become more stronger willed to face everything in my life...it is difficult...i know...but no matter what i must do it...for all of you all...i must do it...i want to make everyone around me happy i said this before but i nv do it...now i will do it...
liting,jane,susy,shih hong you all are reali like my sisters and brother and i really have nuthing else to say without you all i really dun know what to do...but dun worry anymore...i will not let you all down.i had let u all down many times already...sorry...realli...in my life...there used to be full of colours...but it has become black and white now...but now i am going to paint every colour back...
no matter what i will stand up again...i dun give a damn,i know who i am...and for poly frens these days i have been acting to make u all feel unhappy...sorry...i dun used to be like that i even know myself...no way anymore you all...all of you all...are going to feel happy again including sistas...no more the undecisive me, idiotic me, irritating me, possesive me, and weird me...
i am going to go back to who i was and what i was...from this point onwards i am going to be strong willed no one is going to push me down again...no one...

thanks...and sorry...
take care forever ppl
i believe you all want to see me become singer one day...and for those who look down on me...i will show you all what i got...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

2006-01-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO SAY SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I DID AND ALSO I WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER...I ALREADY THREW OUT ALL MY SAD THINGS AWAY AT SUSY'S HOUSE ALREADY I PUT IT ALL INTO A WATER BALLOON AND I SMASH IT ONTO THE FLOOR!!! i really felt better and yah i realli hope to let bygones be bygones i want to stop everything bad and be an optimistic person...i believe in time to come i will bring smiles to many ppls faces and i promise i will do it...everybody i realli want to say everyone of you all are a special part of my life...i will use my voice to the fullest to entertain you all...i have registered for singapore idol...i realli dun wish to fall again...and i will not...after so many experiences that i have and own practices at home...i am ready to go all out for my family, sistaz and everyone that is in my life...i promise i will not let you all down...i must become a singer...i must...I WILL...
So far my life have lots of ups and downs especially in the past few months...I find myself stupid...if i go back to my real self everything will change..so now ppl get ready for ME...
I will make you all laugh until you all kneel in front of me and worship me hahahaha no lah joking...
so ppl jia you in everything u all do and take care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup for your ppl's info this is my sistaz clique they are the ones who truly went pass up and downs with me and i realli love they all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This pic was taken around 11.59pm just 1 min right b4 NEW YEAR and after we played water games!!!!!!!

2005-11-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

PPL I AM BACK!!!!!hehehehehe hahahahah huahauahauh lolololol anyway i am so happy because i just listened to BoA's song omg so nice until i feel like learning it lo.....anyway today basically ji ben shang i got lesson called erm Fun digi photo but then lecturer in india so canceled hehe but then got story telling and then i wrote a homosexual's story not to insult them but to let ppl know how do they feel....haizzzz y ppl despise them .......putting my shoes in them i will feel baddddddddd.....

some of my frens in poly

2005-11-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

ok this neo print there is 2 neo shots they are my frens felicia mave lynette u not realli can see me coz blur lah hah so nvm lah squint ur eyes coz zhi de de coz i very shuai hehe......